"compassionate" was not on the word list

2 [+ / -] May 08, 2008

Guy: How was your spelling bee?
Kid: It was good, some guy had to spell "medulla oblongata."
Guy: Did you have spell medulla oblongata?
Kid's Mom: No, he pooped out at "bracelet."

salsa

j

Pwn!

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#8 college is about learning to cope

61 [+ / -] Apr 27, 2008

Fratty: I black out every time I drink, I've decided it's just part of drinking now.
Sorostitute: Um, that's not normal!
Fratty: I'm okay with it, lets take a shot.

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#19 i'd shake your hand, but...

16 [+ / -] Apr 25, 2008

Stagehand: Between my television shows and all the Internet porn out there, it's really tough to get anything done during the day.

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is it weird that i can still feel the 6 that are missing?

2 [+ / -] Apr 24, 2008

Old Black Woman: That thing with eight tentacles? Yeah, I've been one of those.

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#18 let's just say he created some people more equal than others

17 [+ / -] Apr 21, 2008

Guy in Theater: If God is just then Brad Pitt has a small penis.

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not to brag or anything

7 [+ / -] Apr 08, 2008

Old Jewish Man: It only cost 5 million dollars!

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#20 high-roller suite, anyone?

15 [+ / -] Apr 06, 2008

(On Marta going northbound, in an older, rundown train)
Fratty: Damn, this must be the VIP train... it smells like ass in here.

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who knows, some guys are probably into that sort of thing

-35 [+ / -] Mar 31, 2008

Sober Blonde Girl: I just spit on myself! I just hocked a loogey on my boob!

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#6 what's the difference between the lunch the dinner menu again?

62 [+ / -] Mar 26, 2008

Girl: Ooh look, an Ethiopian restaurant!
Guy: So they serve... nothing?

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#3 sounds like he's under pressure

110 [+ / -] Mar 19, 2008

Bum: (outside MARTA station) Spare change? Spare change?
(He breaks into a perfect David Bowie imitation)
Bum: Ch-ch-ch-changes! Turn and face the train! Changes!

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"...but here, i have this handy color wheel"

9 [+ / -] Mar 18, 2008

Blonde: Um, can I help you?
Woman: Well, you don't seem to have my shade of foundation.
Blonde: You can try this one.
Woman: That one's darker than what I need.
Blonde: Well, you can, like, wear less of it?
Woman: I don't need your help.

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#2 better get used to it, kids

145 [+ / -] Mar 14, 2008

Bum: (sitting on ground outside MARTA station) Spare change?
(Mom tries to hurry her two kids past him)
Little Boy: Wow, a homeless person! We learned about these in social studies!
Little Girl: I never thought I'd actually get to see one in real life!

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