Quotes Filed Under "Downtown"


good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

17 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2009

  • (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
  • Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
  • Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
  • Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

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that's how you know you're in georgia

-50 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

145 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

  • Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
  • Girl: Obama's got your change!

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they're easier to catch that way

56 [+ / -]     May 06, 2009

  • (Two guys watch an attractive woman with a limp walk by)
  • Guy 1: Aw, she has a limp.
  • Guy 2: I like that in a girl.

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-36 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
  • Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
  • Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

15 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

133 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • (Girl in a five-person car with six people is being pulled over)
  • Cop: May I see your license, please?
  • (Girl hands over her license)
  • Cop: This isn't your fake, is it?
  • Girl: (frightened, pulling back license) Oh, no, this is mine.
  • Cop: Do you have your fake with you?
  • Girl: Um, I don't have a fake.
  • Cop: Good answer. Can you step out of the car, please?

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patterson wrote on your wall

40 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Just in case its unclear:
  • Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson
  • Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

-71 [+ / -]     Jan 17, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
  • Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
  • Girl 1: Five.

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there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
  • (Pause)
  • Sober Guy: I live here.
  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

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sure, if you're a nazi

-78 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: Let's go see a movie!
  • Girl 2: I really want to see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
  • Girl 1: Oh okay! Is it a comedy?

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but some are more obvious than others

100 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2008

  • White girl: Everyone has their little weird body thing... hairy feet, webbed toes...
  • Black guy: ...being black.

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brains... brains... brains...

-60 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • A creeper in the background

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alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

151 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2008

  • Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
  • Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
  • Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
  • Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

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this just in, optimism does not prevent cancer

16 [+ / -]     Oct 27, 2008

  • Girl 1. I love to smoke.
  • Girl 2. Yeah but, do you ever think about the health issues?
  • Girl 1. The only one I care about is wrinkles. That's the only really bad effect.

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that's the other kind of free ride

57 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2008

  • Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
  • Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
  • Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
  • Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

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does anyone else feel a breeze?

58 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2008

  • sitting outside of the ga theatre after the vandy game

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#23   look but don't touch, but neither when you with your better half

38 [+ / -]     Oct 16, 2008

  • Black Girl: She's a hoe.
  • Asian Guy: How can you tell?
  • Black Girl: I can see her thong through her dress.
  • Asian Guy: Well to me, that says available.
  • Black Girl: Excuse me?
  • Asian Guy: (falters) You know... if I wasn't with you. I love you.
  • Black Girl: Shut the fuck up and get me a drink.

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the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

73 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
  • Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

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tryouts for the new season of jackass are going well

48 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2008

  • (While hurriedly walking down Broad Street on a Saturday night)
  • Drunk Fratty 1: You say this guy is the real deal, that he knows what he's doing, but how can we be sure?
  • Drunk Fratty 2: Dude, relax... he's been tasered like eighteen times.

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a walk to remember

114 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
  • Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
  • Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
  • Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

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the cake is a lie

4 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2008

  • Taken in the alley behind Flannigan's. It looks like someone may have been locked in the alley til Thursday and much like a prisoner etched the days in the wall this person just wrote the days on the door.

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you can't do shooters when you're asleep

-64 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
  • Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
  • Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

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i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

4 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
  • Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

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"...screw it. wanna fuck or not?"

187 [+ / -]     Sep 21, 2008

  • Guy: This is a classy joint, what's a lady like you doing in here?
  • Girl: Uh...
  • Guy: Wait... wait... that's not how it goes, is it?

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she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

86 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
  • Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
  • Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

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so in other words, just like a normal friday night

19 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • Freshman Dude 1: Ok, so what exactly is hazing?
  • Freshman Dude 2: Well, basically it's when they strip you down naked in the middle of downtown.

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which, despite the misclassification, is mostly true

12 [+ / -]     Sep 13, 2008

  • Guy: (After passing two younger homeless guys) Dude, townies are so gross.

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after a certain point you should just let them go

148 [+ / -]     Sep 11, 2008

  • Hungover Sorostitute on cell: Hey, is this SandBar? Okay, did you find any panties in the women's bathroom last night?

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damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

142 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
  • Bartender: May I see some ID first?

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observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

42 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

  • Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

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good friends will never lie to you

165 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
  • Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.

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drinking too much had nothing to do with it

6 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
  • Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
  • Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

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attention freshmen... this is how not to order a beer

90 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2008

  • (Drunk Freshman orders a PBR)
  • Bartender: That'll be $2.25.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put $4 in there (points to tip jar).
  • Bartender: Okay, but you have to pay me for the beer.
  • Drunk Freshman: But I put my money in that pitcher!
  • Bartender: Well, that's the tip jar. That's where you put tips. You pay me for the alcohol you purchase.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put four dollars in there. Can I just have the beer?
  • Bartender: I don't think you understand. That's not where you pay. You pay the bartenders for your drinks. Then, if you choose, you put a tip in the jar. I can't just give you a beer because you say that you put $4 in the tip jar.
  • Drunk Freshman: Can I just have the beer? I already gave money.
  • Bartender: I don't understand what you want from me.

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the new segway... complete with training wheel

23 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • ACCPD's new and "cheaper" way too patrol downtown.

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careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

263 [+ / -]     Jul 14, 2008

  • (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)
  • Cop: Any requests?
  • Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

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we call that living vicariously

35 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Girl 1: (referring to Girl 2's sandwich) Here, let me get that for you.
  • Girl 2: No, you're always buying me stuff.
  • Girl 1: Nuh uh, what?
  • Girl 2: Like drinks downtown.
  • Girl 1: Oh, that's because you're the DD.

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if only this happened at the vortex

6 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Lifehouse Guy: Thank you guys for waiting months to see us. You even dealt with tornadoes!
  • Sorostitute: There were tornadoes in Atlanta? I thought tornadoes couldn't happen in cities because of all the tall buildings.

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the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

52 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

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drowning in the sea of humans

-129 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

  • The AthFest 2008 crowd on Washington St.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM

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