translation: "i can't read"

• Redneck 1: Well, you know I went to college, but I couldn't write the papers.
• Redneck 2: Well, thats okay.
• Redneck 1: I know, I'm good at that oratory shit... see that's what I learned earlier, I'm good at that oratory shit.

@ The corner of Broad and College
Overheard by: judgemental_bastard (102)
Filed Under Downtown | Welcome to the south

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

when you gotta go, you gotta go to sleep

• Someone fell asleep on the toilet at crowded Sandbar on a Thursday night.

@ Sandbar
Overheard by: messyjesse13 (15)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown | Sandbar

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

that's how you know they aren't fans of the movies

• The sign in the window of The Clubhouse. Twilight is misspelled.

@ College Ave
Overheard by: Ash
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

i doubt anyone will get their photo taken sitting on top of him

• I took this photo because this dude was standing where the bulldog statue normally sits, but after I took it I realized he was flicking off the Mormons standing at the Arch across the street.

@ Broad St and College Ave, outside Starbucks
Overheard by: ash
Filed Under Downtown | Welcome to the south

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

at least if you drown you know you aren't a witch

• Irish Guy 1: I don't think a fella should be swimmin' after e's eaten. Least not for an hour.
• Irish Guy 2: No! Es a myth!
• Irish Guy 1: Twenty minutes then.
• Irish Guy 2: (to bartender) Whaddayou think?
• Bartender: Uh, I know you could get a cramp, but it isn't that likely. I'd say it's safe. Maybe it depends how much you eat.
• Irish Guy 2: Or what you eat.
• Irish Guy 1: Yeah, I suppose if you eat boulders your shit out of luck.

@ Rye Bar
Overheard by: DeedeeJackson (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

when you're really drunk it starts to animate

• My favorite graffiti in Athens. Found in the men's room at the downtown Transmet's bar, which is the location of most of the silliest graffiti.

@ Transmetropolitan downtown
Overheard by: suds slinger
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

double the pleasure, double the fun

• Guy 1: (ogling two blonde girls wearing the same dress) What are they, twins?
• Guy 2: No, better... freshmen.

@ Budha Bar
Overheard by: asmith (15)
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

where's the slot for this thing again?

@ Clayton St
Overheard by: Ash
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

does that mean the chicken is from concentrate?

• Guy: So you're a vegetarian now?
• Girl: Yeah. Except for once a month when I eat some chicken. It's so I can get enough protein.
• Guy: Why don't you just eat nuts or take protein supplements or something?
• Girl: Pfft. All that is, is meat packed in to tiny little pills.

@ Which Wich
Overheard by: Sam
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

you're holding the map upside down again

• Homeless Guy: What up, y'all. My name's Netty. I'm from the east coast.
• Fratty: That's awesome, dude. Nice to meet you.
• Sorostitute: Oh my gawd! The east coast! So like, from California?

@ Corner of College and Clayton
Overheard by: Lauren
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

kings, queens, what's the difference

• Drunk girl: Is this a gay bar?
• Drunker girl: I don't know where I am right now.
• Drunk girl: I mean, I don't give a shit. Remember my old neighbor? She was gay. Oh wait! Yeah. Remember how this was that other gay bar? And now it's New Earth? Yeah, this is a gay bar.

@ Little Kings
Overheard by: Michelle
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

what an asshole

• Girl: Please?
• Guy: No.
• Girl: Please?
• Guy: No.
• Girl: What if...
• Guy: No, dammit, no!
• Girl: You are the worst boyfriend ever. You watch chick flicks and take me out to dinner, but the minute I want to try anal...
• Guy: For God's sake, shut up!

@ Clayton
Overheard by: Woah now.
Filed Under Downtown | Hooking up

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

and if i do get in, i'm also gonna puke

• Drunk Guy: Dude, if I don't get inside this bar, I am going to puke.

@ Outside General Beauregard's
Overheard by: Bob
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

nah, i'll just look for someone who goes to class less

• Drunk Asian Guy: What's up ladies... what you got going on tonight?
• Drunk Sorostitute: Oh My God! You're totally my TA!
• Drunk Asian Guy: Damn it!
• Drunk White Guy: Maybe you should stop teaching.

@ Sideways
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Pwn!

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

cleanup on aisle clayton

• Someone had a little too much fun.

@ Athens
Overheard by: Anonymous!
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

not as difficult an achievement as he seems to think

• (On a crowded East West night bus)
• Drunk Freshman Guy 1: Dude. I better get arrested tonight.
• Drunk Freshman Guy 2: I know, right? You better.
• (They exit the bus and walk towards Bourbon Street)

@ The Arch
Overheard by: Not My Plan Tonight
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | The bus

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Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece

does it matter?

• Male Professor: So, who stayed in town this weekend? Did anyone go downtown?
• Student: I was downtown!
• Male Professor: Sweet.
• Student: Were you downtown wearing a dress?
• Male Professor: What color?

@ SLC
Overheard by: Student
Filed Under Downtown | In class | SLC

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

they'll screw you more, too

• Drunk Guy: Fucking Charter calls me more than my girlfriend.

@ Downtown
Overheard by: mdk (15)
Filed Under Downtown | One-liners | Pwn!

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Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece

maybe the drunk brad is the real brad

• Girl: Brad, I just want you to know that I really care about you. It just worries me when you drink like this. It's like you change into another person when you're drunk and I know that's not the real you. I love you. I just want to see you make the right decisions.
• (silence)
• Girl: Are you even listening?
• (Brad starts snoring)
  

@ taxi cab after downtown
Overheard by: tomcat706 (60)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | In the car

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

and that buddha bar is a temple

• Girl 1: (to Bartender) We need 8 shots of tequila... it's her birthday!
• (Girl 2 walks up to the bar)
• Girl 1: (to Girl 2) I just ordered 8 shots of tequila!
• (Girl 2 looks horrified)
• Girl 1: No, it's okay, my mom thinks El Centro is a restaurant!

@ El Centro
Overheard by: bartender (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

along with the raised fines, acc is now hiring telepathic meter maids

• This was in a parking lot downtown...

@ Broad St.
Overheard by: Meg C.
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

we all feel it too

• Despite the tragedy that the Georgia Theatre has been through, the owners still display a sense of humor about the situation. RIP Georgia Theatre.

@ Ga Theatre
Overheard by: cricket
Filed Under Downtown | GA Theatre

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Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece

good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

• (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
• Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
• Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
• Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

@ Broad Street
Overheard by: MK
Caption by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

that's how you know you're in georgia

• (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
• Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
• Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
• Guy: Kinky.

@ downtown
Overheard by: confused
Filed Under Downtown | Hooking up | Welcome to the south

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Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece

after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

• Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
• Girl: Obama's got your change!

@ Corner of Clayton and College Ave.
Overheard by: J. Linn
Filed Under Pwn! | Downtown | Bum

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Comments (10) | Speak Your Piece

they're easier to catch that way

• (Two guys watch an attractive woman with a limp walk by)
• Guy 1: Aw, she has a limp.
• Guy 2: I like that in a girl.

@ downtown
Overheard by: observer
Filed Under Downtown | Wtf?

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

does hope wear a funny hat?

• (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
• Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
• Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

@ Transmetropolitan
Overheard by: Girl
Filed Under Downtown | Lost in translation

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

that's what you get for partying at officemax

• guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

@ Transmetropolitan downtown
Overheard by: suds slinger
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Football | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

but apparently not the best answer

• (Girl in a five-person car with six people is being pulled over)
• Cop: May I see your license, please?
• (Girl hands over her license)
• Cop: This isn't your fake, is it?
• Girl: (frightened, pulling back license) Oh, no, this is mine.
• Cop: Do you have your fake with you?
• Girl: Um, I don't have a fake.
• Cop: Good answer. Can you step out of the car, please?

@ Downtown
Overheard by: Ruscafe
Filed Under Pwn! | Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

patterson wrote on your wall

• Just in case its unclear:
• Russ:
  Fuck you
  -Patterson
• Patterson:
  Try to suck less dick
  -Everyone

@ Roadhouse
Overheard by: Emotional Fescue (30)
Filed Under Pwn! | Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

• Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
• Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
• Girl 1: Five.

@ Athens Area
Overheard by: roommate's 2 girlfriend
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (13) | Speak Your Piece

there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

• Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
• (Pause)
• Sober Guy: I live here.
• Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

@ in front of The Library
Overheard by: Shelly
Caption by: McIcehouse (96)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

sure, if you're a nazi

• Girl 1: Let's go see a movie!
• Girl 2: I really want to see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
• Girl 1: Oh okay! Is it a comedy?

@ downtown
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (12) | Speak Your Piece

but some are more obvious than others

• White girl: Everyone has their little weird body thing... hairy feet, webbed toes...
• Black guy: ...being black.

@ downtown
Overheard by: hilarrrious
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

brains... brains... brains...

• A creeper in the background

@ Bar downtown
Overheard by: Meghan
Filed Under Downtown

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Comments (22) | Speak Your Piece

alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

• Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
• Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
• Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
• Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

@ Corner of Clayton St. and College Ave.
Overheard by: Srsly?
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece

this just in, optimism does not prevent cancer

• Girl 1. I love to smoke.
• Girl 2. Yeah but, do you ever think about the health issues?
• Girl 1. The only one I care about is wrinkles. That's the only really bad effect.

@ Downtown Atlanta
Overheard by: l54 (15)
Filed Under Smoking | Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

that's the other kind of free ride

• Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
• Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
• Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
• Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

@ WatchDawgs Dispatch Around 2AM
Overheard by: WatchDawgs, Inc.
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking
Provided courtesy of WatchDawgs, Inc.

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

does anyone else feel a breeze?

• sitting outside of the ga theatre after the vandy game

@ dt
Overheard by: eww
Filed Under Downtown | Ew. | GA Theatre

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Comments (11) | Speak Your Piece

#18   look but don't touch, but neither when you with your better half

• Black Girl: She's a hoe.
• Asian Guy: How can you tell?
• Black Girl: I can see her thong through her dress.
• Asian Guy: Well to me, that says available.
• Black Girl: Excuse me?
• Asian Guy: (falters) You know... if I wasn't with you. I love you.
• Black Girl: Shut the fuck up and get me a drink.

@ Opera Nightclub
Overheard by: Blondie
Filed Under Downtown | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

• Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
• Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

@ The Arch
Overheard by: Homeboy
Filed Under Bum | Downtown | Pwn!

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Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece

tryouts for the new season of jackass are going well

• (While hurriedly walking down Broad Street on a Saturday night)
• Drunk Fratty 1: You say this guy is the real deal, that he knows what he's doing, but how can we be sure?
• Drunk Fratty 2: Dude, relax... he's been tasered like eighteen times.

@ Bourbon Street
Overheard by: tess (45)
Filed Under Downtown | Wtf?

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

a walk to remember

• (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
• Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
• Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
• Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

@ Downtown
Overheard by: Het
Filed Under Bum | Downtown

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

the cake is a lie

• Taken in the alley behind Flannigan's. It looks like someone may have been locked in the alley til Thursday and much like a prisoner etched the days in the wall this person just wrote the days on the door.

@ alley behind on Flannigan's right off of Jackson St.
Overheard by: rymy (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Neat

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

you can't do shooters when you're asleep

• (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
• Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
• Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

@ OK Coffee
Overheard by: sleepy barista
Caption by: Dolphus (85)
Filed Under Downtown | Football

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

• (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
• Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

@ downtown
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under At work | Downtown | Ew. | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

"...screw it. wanna fuck or not?"

• Guy: This is a classy joint, what's a lady like you doing in here?
• Girl: Uh...
• Guy: Wait... wait... that's not how it goes, is it?

@ buddha bar
Overheard by: Nikki
Filed Under Downtown | Dumbass | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

• Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
• Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
• Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
• Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

@ Downtown
Overheard by: Say What?! (15)
Caption by: kitten (105)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

so in other words, just like a normal friday night

• Freshman Dude 1: Ok, so what exactly is hazing?
• Freshman Dude 2: Well, basically it's when they strip you down naked in the middle of downtown.

@ Tate Bus Stop
Overheard by: Redman
Filed Under Downtown | Greek Life

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

which, despite the misclassification, is mostly true

• Guy: (After passing two younger homeless guys) Dude, townies are so gross.

@ Broad Street
Overheard by: person1 (15)
Filed Under Downtown | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

after a certain point you should just let them go

• Hungover Sorostitute on cell: Hey, is this SandBar? Okay, did you find any panties in the women's bathroom last night?

@ Riverbend Club
Overheard by: Krunch
Filed Under Downtown | On the phone | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

• 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
• Bartender: May I see some ID first?

@ The Globe
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

• Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

@ Barcode
Overheard by: Allison Weiss
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (12) | Speak Your Piece

good friends will never lie to you

• Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
• Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.

@ House
Overheard by: one guy (45)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

drinking too much had nothing to do with it

• (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
• Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
• Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
• Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

@ Downtown
Overheard by: Ha Ha
Filed Under Downtown | Football | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

attention freshmen... this is how not to order a beer

• (Drunk Freshman orders a PBR)
• Bartender: That'll be $2.25.
• Drunk Freshman: I put $4 in there (points to tip jar).
• Bartender: Okay, but you have to pay me for the beer.
• Drunk Freshman: But I put my money in that pitcher!
• Bartender: Well, that's the tip jar. That's where you put tips. You pay me for the alcohol you purchase.
• Drunk Freshman: I put four dollars in there. Can I just have the beer?
• Bartender: I don't think you understand. That's not where you pay. You pay the bartenders for your drinks. Then, if you choose, you put a tip in the jar. I can't just give you a beer because you say that you put $4 in the tip jar.
• Drunk Freshman: Can I just have the beer? I already gave money.
• Bartender: I don't understand what you want from me.

@ a bar
Overheard by: Experienced Bar Patron
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (10) | Speak Your Piece

the new segway... complete with training wheel

• ACCPD's new and "cheaper" way too patrol downtown.

@ Clayton st
Overheard by: johnc78 (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Wtf?

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

• (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)
• Cop: Any requests?
• Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

@ Broad Street
Overheard by: Dave
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Pwn!

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

we call that living vicariously

• Girl 1: (referring to Girl 2's sandwich) Here, let me get that for you.
• Girl 2: No, you're always buying me stuff.
• Girl 1: Nuh uh, what?
• Girl 2: Like drinks downtown.
• Girl 1: Oh, that's because you're the DD.

@ subway
Overheard by: tootles
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece

if only this happened at the vortex

• Lifehouse Guy: Thank you guys for waiting months to see us. You even dealt with tornadoes!
• Sorostitute: There were tornadoes in Atlanta? I thought tornadoes couldn't happen in cities because of all the tall buildings.

@ Lifehouse Concert at the Tabernacle
Overheard by: Anon
Filed Under Downtown | Dumbass

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

• Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

@ The Grill
Overheard by: Lawlipop
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | One-liners

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

drowning in the sea of humans

• The AthFest 2008 crowd on Washington St.
  Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM
  

@ OMGPARTY
Overheard by: washington s
Filed Under Athfest | Downtown

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Comments (18) | Speak Your Piece

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06/25/2008, 12:24 PM

dd said...

I don't get it

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06/25/2008, 5:21 PM

huh? said...

Me neither...I've never even heard of AthFest

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06/25/2008, 5:24 PM

SK said...

Athfest is cool, but this is not. It's just a bunch of random people. It might have been funny if they were pointing out someone's terrible fashion sense or something like that, but eh...

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06/25/2008, 10:23 PM

boo said...

this picture is not interesting at all.

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06/25/2008, 11:23 PM

SK said...

Oh wait, I've got an idea. Here's how you make it interesting...figure out if that person wearing pink in the middle is a man or woman...

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06/26/2008, 03:42 AM

boo said...

ah that does make it better! thanks SK. i vote woman...for her sake i hope she has a good personality.

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06/26/2008, 9:58 PM

Luke said...

drowning in a sea of boring more like it. theres like 5 people in this picture! zzzzzzzzz........

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06/29/2008, 10:27 PM

D said...

I honestly dislike Allison Weiss so much...

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06/30/2008, 12:38 AM

arh said...

her music makes my ears bleed. and this picture is terrible.

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07/14/2008, 7:53 PM

Luke said...

Maybe if we get the ratings low enough (like -100), they'll take this picture off of here!

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07/15/2008, 1:36 PM

oia said...

no we wont

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07/26/2008, 12:22 AM

nah said...

Because then we'd lose all the comments!

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07/15/2008, 1:12 PM

lrj said...

I can't believe you haven't heard of Athfest! Some of you need to walk past the GA Theater to see the other side of downtown.

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07/18/2008, 02:25 AM

anonymous said...

People might walk past the Georgia Theater if that side of town wasn't hipster and didn't have self obsessed people like you.

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08/02/2008, 01:28 AM

TB said...

why so much hate?

it's neat seeing the streets filled with drunk pedestrians and not drunk drivers for a change

and babies and tents!

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08/02/2008, 3:04 PM

Luke said...

It's still a boring picture. That's like taking a picture of people in a store...nothing extraordinary, nothing funny, and it's not even an artsy way to take the picture!

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08/28/2008, 11:09 PM

anonymous said...

Oooo! Not artsy. Burn!

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09/20/2008, 02:35 AM

jules said...

personally, we the townies of west washington want you to stay on the east side of lumpkin. smells like pee and barf over there, from all the numbnut college kids trying to learn to drink.

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