Quotes Filed Under "Downtown"


translation: "i can't read"

3 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2010

  • Redneck 1: Well, you know I went to college, but I couldn't write the papers.
  • Redneck 2: Well, thats okay.
  • Redneck 1: I know, I'm good at that oratory shit... see that's what I learned earlier, I'm good at that oratory shit.

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when you gotta go, you gotta go to sleep

13 [+ / -]     Jul 16, 2010

  • Someone fell asleep on the toilet at crowded Sandbar on a Thursday night.

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that's how you know they aren't fans of the movies

2 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2010

  • The sign in the window of The Clubhouse. Twilight is misspelled.

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i doubt anyone will get their photo taken sitting on top of him

9 [+ / -]     Apr 20, 2010

  • I took this photo because this dude was standing where the bulldog statue normally sits, but after I took it I realized he was flicking off the Mormons standing at the Arch across the street.

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at least if you drown you know you aren't a witch

6 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2010

  • Irish Guy 1: I don't think a fella should be swimmin' after e's eaten. Least not for an hour.
  • Irish Guy 2: No! Es a myth!
  • Irish Guy 1: Twenty minutes then.
  • Irish Guy 2: (to bartender) Whaddayou think?
  • Bartender: Uh, I know you could get a cramp, but it isn't that likely. I'd say it's safe. Maybe it depends how much you eat.
  • Irish Guy 2: Or what you eat.
  • Irish Guy 1: Yeah, I suppose if you eat boulders your shit out of luck.

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when you're really drunk it starts to animate

0 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2010

  • My favorite graffiti in Athens. Found in the men's room at the downtown Transmet's bar, which is the location of most of the silliest graffiti.

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double the pleasure, double the fun

31 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2010

  • Guy 1: (ogling two blonde girls wearing the same dress) What are they, twins?
  • Guy 2: No, better... freshmen.

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where's the slot for this thing again?

9 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2010

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does that mean the chicken is from concentrate?

-1 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2010

  • Guy: So you're a vegetarian now?
  • Girl: Yeah. Except for once a month when I eat some chicken. It's so I can get enough protein.
  • Guy: Why don't you just eat nuts or take protein supplements or something?
  • Girl: Pfft. All that is, is meat packed in to tiny little pills.

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you're holding the map upside down again

27 [+ / -]     Mar 23, 2010

  • Homeless Guy: What up, y'all. My name's Netty. I'm from the east coast.
  • Fratty: That's awesome, dude. Nice to meet you.
  • Sorostitute: Oh my gawd! The east coast! So like, from California?

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kings, queens, what's the difference

-22 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2010

  • Drunk girl: Is this a gay bar?
  • Drunker girl: I don't know where I am right now.
  • Drunk girl: I mean, I don't give a shit. Remember my old neighbor? She was gay. Oh wait! Yeah. Remember how this was that other gay bar? And now it's New Earth? Yeah, this is a gay bar.

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what an asshole

96 [+ / -]     Jan 26, 2010

  • Girl: Please?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: Please?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: What if...
  • Guy: No, dammit, no!
  • Girl: You are the worst boyfriend ever. You watch chick flicks and take me out to dinner, but the minute I want to try anal...
  • Guy: For God's sake, shut up!

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and if i do get in, i'm also gonna puke

-11 [+ / -]     Jan 11, 2010

  • Drunk Guy: Dude, if I don't get inside this bar, I am going to puke.

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nah, i'll just look for someone who goes to class less

44 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2010

  • Drunk Asian Guy: What's up ladies... what you got going on tonight?
  • Drunk Sorostitute: Oh My God! You're totally my TA!
  • Drunk Asian Guy: Damn it!
  • Drunk White Guy: Maybe you should stop teaching.

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cleanup on aisle clayton

56 [+ / -]     Dec 27, 2009

  • Someone had a little too much fun.

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not as difficult an achievement as he seems to think

13 [+ / -]     Dec 12, 2009

  • (On a crowded East West night bus)
  • Drunk Freshman Guy 1: Dude. I better get arrested tonight.
  • Drunk Freshman Guy 2: I know, right? You better.
  • (They exit the bus and walk towards Bourbon Street)

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does it matter?

-1 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2009

  • Male Professor: So, who stayed in town this weekend? Did anyone go downtown?
  • Student: I was downtown!
  • Male Professor: Sweet.
  • Student: Were you downtown wearing a dress?
  • Male Professor: What color?

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they'll screw you more, too

149 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2009

  • Drunk Guy: Fucking Charter calls me more than my girlfriend.

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maybe the drunk brad is the real brad

67 [+ / -]     Aug 03, 2009

  • Girl: Brad, I just want you to know that I really care about you. It just worries me when you drink like this. It's like you change into another person when you're drunk and I know that's not the real you. I love you. I just want to see you make the right decisions.
  • (silence)
  • Girl: Are you even listening?
  • (Brad starts snoring)

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and that buddha bar is a temple

17 [+ / -]     Jul 27, 2009

  • Girl 1: (to Bartender) We need 8 shots of tequila... it's her birthday!
  • (Girl 2 walks up to the bar)
  • Girl 1: (to Girl 2) I just ordered 8 shots of tequila!
  • (Girl 2 looks horrified)
  • Girl 1: No, it's okay, my mom thinks El Centro is a restaurant!

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along with the raised fines, acc is now hiring telepathic meter maids

27 [+ / -]     Jul 27, 2009

  • This was in a parking lot downtown...

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we all feel it too

84 [+ / -]     Jul 06, 2009

  • Despite the tragedy that the Georgia Theatre has been through, the owners still display a sense of humor about the situation. RIP Georgia Theatre.

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good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

24 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2009

  • (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
  • Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
  • Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
  • Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

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that's how you know you're in georgia

-47 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

167 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

  • Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
  • Girl: Obama's got your change!

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they're easier to catch that way

63 [+ / -]     May 06, 2009

  • (Two guys watch an attractive woman with a limp walk by)
  • Guy 1: Aw, she has a limp.
  • Guy 2: I like that in a girl.

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-32 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
  • Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
  • Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

17 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

136 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • (Girl in a five-person car with six people is being pulled over)
  • Cop: May I see your license, please?
  • (Girl hands over her license)
  • Cop: This isn't your fake, is it?
  • Girl: (frightened, pulling back license) Oh, no, this is mine.
  • Cop: Do you have your fake with you?
  • Girl: Um, I don't have a fake.
  • Cop: Good answer. Can you step out of the car, please?

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patterson wrote on your wall

43 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Just in case its unclear:
  • Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson
  • Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

-71 [+ / -]     Jan 17, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
  • Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
  • Girl 1: Five.

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there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
  • (Pause)
  • Sober Guy: I live here.
  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

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sure, if you're a nazi

-78 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: Let's go see a movie!
  • Girl 2: I really want to see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
  • Girl 1: Oh okay! Is it a comedy?

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but some are more obvious than others

102 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2008

  • White girl: Everyone has their little weird body thing... hairy feet, webbed toes...
  • Black guy: ...being black.

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brains... brains... brains...

-61 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • A creeper in the background

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alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

151 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2008

  • Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
  • Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
  • Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
  • Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

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this just in, optimism does not prevent cancer

17 [+ / -]     Oct 27, 2008

  • Girl 1. I love to smoke.
  • Girl 2. Yeah but, do you ever think about the health issues?
  • Girl 1. The only one I care about is wrinkles. That's the only really bad effect.

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that's the other kind of free ride

57 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2008

  • Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
  • Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
  • Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
  • Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

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does anyone else feel a breeze?

60 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2008

  • sitting outside of the ga theatre after the vandy game

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#18   look but don't touch, but neither when you with your better half

48 [+ / -]     Oct 16, 2008

  • Black Girl: She's a hoe.
  • Asian Guy: How can you tell?
  • Black Girl: I can see her thong through her dress.
  • Asian Guy: Well to me, that says available.
  • Black Girl: Excuse me?
  • Asian Guy: (falters) You know... if I wasn't with you. I love you.
  • Black Girl: Shut the fuck up and get me a drink.

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the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

76 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
  • Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

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tryouts for the new season of jackass are going well

46 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2008

  • (While hurriedly walking down Broad Street on a Saturday night)
  • Drunk Fratty 1: You say this guy is the real deal, that he knows what he's doing, but how can we be sure?
  • Drunk Fratty 2: Dude, relax... he's been tasered like eighteen times.

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a walk to remember

117 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
  • Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
  • Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
  • Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

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the cake is a lie

6 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2008

  • Taken in the alley behind Flannigan's. It looks like someone may have been locked in the alley til Thursday and much like a prisoner etched the days in the wall this person just wrote the days on the door.

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you can't do shooters when you're asleep

-61 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
  • Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
  • Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

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i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

6 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
  • Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

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"...screw it. wanna fuck or not?"

191 [+ / -]     Sep 21, 2008

  • Guy: This is a classy joint, what's a lady like you doing in here?
  • Girl: Uh...
  • Guy: Wait... wait... that's not how it goes, is it?

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she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

87 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
  • Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
  • Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

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so in other words, just like a normal friday night

21 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • Freshman Dude 1: Ok, so what exactly is hazing?
  • Freshman Dude 2: Well, basically it's when they strip you down naked in the middle of downtown.

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which, despite the misclassification, is mostly true

13 [+ / -]     Sep 13, 2008

  • Guy: (After passing two younger homeless guys) Dude, townies are so gross.

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after a certain point you should just let them go

152 [+ / -]     Sep 11, 2008

  • Hungover Sorostitute on cell: Hey, is this SandBar? Okay, did you find any panties in the women's bathroom last night?

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damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

147 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
  • Bartender: May I see some ID first?

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observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

44 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

  • Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

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good friends will never lie to you

167 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
  • Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.

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drinking too much had nothing to do with it

10 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
  • Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
  • Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

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attention freshmen... this is how not to order a beer

93 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2008

  • (Drunk Freshman orders a PBR)
  • Bartender: That'll be $2.25.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put $4 in there (points to tip jar).
  • Bartender: Okay, but you have to pay me for the beer.
  • Drunk Freshman: But I put my money in that pitcher!
  • Bartender: Well, that's the tip jar. That's where you put tips. You pay me for the alcohol you purchase.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put four dollars in there. Can I just have the beer?
  • Bartender: I don't think you understand. That's not where you pay. You pay the bartenders for your drinks. Then, if you choose, you put a tip in the jar. I can't just give you a beer because you say that you put $4 in the tip jar.
  • Drunk Freshman: Can I just have the beer? I already gave money.
  • Bartender: I don't understand what you want from me.

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the new segway... complete with training wheel

25 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • ACCPD's new and "cheaper" way too patrol downtown.

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careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

266 [+ / -]     Jul 14, 2008

  • (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)
  • Cop: Any requests?
  • Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

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we call that living vicariously

34 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Girl 1: (referring to Girl 2's sandwich) Here, let me get that for you.
  • Girl 2: No, you're always buying me stuff.
  • Girl 1: Nuh uh, what?
  • Girl 2: Like drinks downtown.
  • Girl 1: Oh, that's because you're the DD.

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if only this happened at the vortex

7 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Lifehouse Guy: Thank you guys for waiting months to see us. You even dealt with tornadoes!
  • Sorostitute: There were tornadoes in Atlanta? I thought tornadoes couldn't happen in cities because of all the tall buildings.

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the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

52 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

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drowning in the sea of humans

-129 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

  • The AthFest 2008 crowd on Washington St.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM

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and did you make sure she had her lunch money?

131 [+ / -]     Jun 24, 2008

  • (Watching Sorostitute dance on a bar)
  • Girl: I don't think that girl is wearing any underwear.
  • Guy 1: Are you sure? Maybe its just a thong.
  • Girl: Um... I don't think so.
  • Guy 2: Yeah, she's wearing underwear. I made sure before we left the house.

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has anyone seen my air pump?

-65 [+ / -]     Jun 23, 2008

  • The moon-walk things at AthFest 2008.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM.

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it's important to get your weekly regimen of binge drinking

49 [+ / -]     Jun 23, 2008

  • Girl 1: I really want to go out tomorrow night.
  • Girl 2: Why?
  • Girl 1: Well, I feel like my weekend got cut short since I didn't get to go out last night. I know I still had two nights downtown, but I was sober Thursday and I don't remember Friday, so it's like I didn't go downtown at all.

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like shooting fish in a barrel

151 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2008

  • Girl 1: No, but he's like wanting to get to know about personal stuff and wants to take me out to dinner and a movie. So obviously he's not just trying to hook up with me because all you have to do is meet me in a bar downtown around one thirty and buy me a drink to do that.
  • Girl 2: Shoot... if a guy wants to hook up with me, he doesn't have to buy me a drink, just meet me at the hot dog man after the bars close and buy me a hot dog. Then I'm all yours.

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the theory of relativity in action

-10 [+ / -]     Jun 13, 2008

  • Girl 1: I'm such an asshole motherfucker!
  • Girl 2: No you're not! You are definitely one of the 5 nicest people I've ever met!
  • Girl 1: I wish you knew nicer people.

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he's gonna feel that one in the morning

32 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2008

  • This is a cat that lives in the window of this store on Clayton Street. I didn't believe it was real for the longest time because it's usually asleep, but it is!

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they're already working on the lifetime movie

-18 [+ / -]     Jun 06, 2008

  • Gay Man: Will somebody please just use a blunt object to beat the shit outta me?

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most people just don't want to die in dirty underwear

19 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2008

  • Guy: I can't see if a car's coming.
  • Girl: I don't want to get run over with my new tan.

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not to mention all the potential for jokes about sausage

48 [+ / -]     May 30, 2008

  • Drunk Girl: (Eating pizza in front of City Bar) Mmm, this is so good! I want to marry a pizza. It doesn't talk, it doesn't bitch, and it satisfies me over and over.

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it's always more fun when it's a surprise

86 [+ / -]     May 27, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: Dixeland Sweet Tea, please!
  • Bartender: 5 dollars.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: What's in it?
  • Bartender: We're not supposed to tell.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: It's ok, I won't remember tomorrow, I was just wondering how fucked up I'm going to be.

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better luck next time

12 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

  • (Drunk Guy walks outside to pass back IDs)
  • Drunk Guy: (to bouncer, with IDs in hand) They are 18 but can you let them in anyway?
  • (Bouncer proceeds to throw all of them out)

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they must be running low on those big-ass letters

60 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • The marquee at the Georgia Theatre.

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this is a ben stiller movie waiting to happen

160 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • Drunk Girl: Baby, please can we go home?
  • Fratty: Listen, go to Little Italy, then take a cab home and I'll call you in a little while.
  • (She walks away, he walks to the bar to another girl)
  • Fratty: If we go to my place now, I can just bring you home later.
  • Girl 2: I just heard what you said to Ashley.
  • Fratty: How'd you know her name?
  • Girl 2: She's my roommate.

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bookshelf local 706 forms a picket line to protest the closing of the last independent newsstand in athens

19 [+ / -]     May 22, 2008

  • All the magazine racks and bookshelves from Barnett's were out on College Avenue when they were cleaning before closing the store for good.

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don't think we don't remember you from last time

21 [+ / -]     May 21, 2008

  • Female Customer: Can I have a small decaf hazelnut... and the key to the bathroom, please?
  • Male Barista: Okay, but don't pee all over the floor.

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"um... guys? there's a really tall white dude growing out of your shoulders"

4 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

  • Dave Bliss at Flanagan's. How to act around a basketball star 101. Typical.

    @