so, sometime between rush and rehab

• Employee: So, when does school start?
• Sorostitute: Oh, I don't know when school starts. But I know when Rush starts!

@ Olympic Drive Post Office
Overheard by: SavLee
Filed Under At work | Drinking | Greek Life

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the goal is to make your bac match your gpa

• Drunk Guy: (speaking to incoming freshman): Honors chemistry, ooooh. Fuck your GPA, it's all about drinking!
• Girl: That's probably the best advice you'll ever get for college.

@ The Woodlands pool
Overheard by: Anonymous
Filed Under Drinking

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or just start doing coke

• Girl 1: I need to lose weight, let's start exercising.
• Girl 2: Well, alcohol slows down the fat burning process.
• (pause)
• Girl 2: So we'll have to cut something else.

@ slc
Overheard by: mb
Filed Under Drinking | SLC

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

when you gotta go, you gotta go to sleep

• Someone fell asleep on the toilet at crowded Sandbar on a Thursday night.

@ Sandbar
Overheard by: messyjesse13 (15)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown | Sandbar

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it might be good to start training them young, though

• Woman: Oh shit! We need to find money for groceries!
• Man: What?
• Woman: I mean, we can survive on liquor, but the kids can't.

@ Allen's
Overheard by: dacey (30)
Filed Under Drinking

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police are on the lookout for a bunch of drunk sorority girls

• Sorostitute: Yeah, we robbed a liquor store last weekend. It was awesome.
• Fratty: That's badass.

@ campus
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Drinking | Greek Life

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

at least if you drown you know you aren't a witch

• Irish Guy 1: I don't think a fella should be swimmin' after e's eaten. Least not for an hour.
• Irish Guy 2: No! Es a myth!
• Irish Guy 1: Twenty minutes then.
• Irish Guy 2: (to bartender) Whaddayou think?
• Bartender: Uh, I know you could get a cramp, but it isn't that likely. I'd say it's safe. Maybe it depends how much you eat.
• Irish Guy 2: Or what you eat.
• Irish Guy 1: Yeah, I suppose if you eat boulders your shit out of luck.

@ Rye Bar
Overheard by: DeedeeJackson (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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you're not doing it right if you remember it

• Guy: I don't remember anything last night... the best thing is that I woke to all these text messages from these people I don't remember seeing at all.
• Guy 2: What did they say?
• Guy: Listen. This is the best one. "Text me back if you are alive. I saw you fall walking into the bar, and then fall walking out of the bar."

@ ECV
Overheard by: georgiagirl
Filed Under Drinking

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and they probably weren't at 100% to begin with

• Sorostitute 1: Did you know that after a night of binge drinking your brain doesn't fully function for like 40 days?
• Sorostitute 2: Oh my god, that means our brains will like, never fully function!
• (Both laugh in unison)
  

@ Olive Garden
Overheard by: Ryan
Filed Under Drinking

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and if i do get in, i'm also gonna puke

• Drunk Guy: Dude, if I don't get inside this bar, I am going to puke.

@ Outside General Beauregard's
Overheard by: Bob
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

nah, i'll just look for someone who goes to class less

• Drunk Asian Guy: What's up ladies... what you got going on tonight?
• Drunk Sorostitute: Oh My God! You're totally my TA!
• Drunk Asian Guy: Damn it!
• Drunk White Guy: Maybe you should stop teaching.

@ Sideways
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Pwn!

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

at least he wasn't looking for the bathroom

• (After bursting through the door of an occupied dorm room at 2 a.m.)
• Drunk Freshman: This isn't the stairs.

@ Myers, 2nd floor. Four doors down from the stairs
Overheard by: Bandez
Filed Under Dorm life | Drinking | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

cleanup on aisle clayton

• Someone had a little too much fun.

@ Athens
Overheard by: Anonymous!
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

not as difficult an achievement as he seems to think

• (On a crowded East West night bus)
• Drunk Freshman Guy 1: Dude. I better get arrested tonight.
• Drunk Freshman Guy 2: I know, right? You better.
• (They exit the bus and walk towards Bourbon Street)

@ The Arch
Overheard by: Not My Plan Tonight
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | The bus

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Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece

who says romance is dead?

• Drunk Guy 1: I totally rubbed my boner on that girl's thigh!
• Drunk Guy 2: What did she say?
• Drunk Guy 1: She looked at me and smiled!

@ Broad Street
Overheard by: Rebecca
Filed Under Drinking | Hooking up

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

you stay classy, alabama

• A customer Someone left this disposable flask at Trappeze on the night of the GA / AU game.

@ Trappeze
Overheard by: kathryn
Filed Under Drinking | Football | Trappeze

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

easy come, easy go

• Guy 1: You don't need to finish that bottle.
• Guy 2: Dude, I just puked up all my street cred.

@ Milledge Ave.
Overheard by: McDeez
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

graduate students gone wild

• Drunk guy: (screams) Let's get drunk and fuck some whores!
• Girl: (turns around) Aren't you my TA?

@ Sanford Stadium
Overheard by: ry
Filed Under Drinking | Football

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

at least they weren't used

• Fratty 1: So yeah, last night, I totally forgot to lock my door before I passed out.
• Fratty 2: Yeah, so?
• Fratty 1: Well, this morning I woke up with 8 opened condoms in my mouth.

@ O House
Overheard by: Odds&Ends
Filed Under Dining hall | Dorm life | Drinking | Ew.

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

now, can you pass the flask, please?

• Girl 1: I'm kind of over drinking.
• Girl 2: Yeah, me too, its getting old.
• Girl 3: I know! By age 21, it's like, I'm done with it.

@ Sanford Stadium, Auburn Game
Overheard by: evesdropper
Filed Under Drinking | Football

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

because nothing sparks philosophical debate like keystone light

• Guy on cell: So, there are a few points of Aristotelian philosophy I want to talk to you about.
• (pause)
• Guy on cell: Yeah, I'll pick up the keg.

@ outside the library
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Drinking | On the phone

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

it's gonna take more than a pair of tits to get a cab on a gameday

• Guy: Will you please put your tits back in your shirt and focus on getting us a goddamn cab?
• Drunk Girl: Don't say G-D!

@ College and Broad, post football game
Overheard by: tomcat706
Filed Under Drinking | Football

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Comments (22) | Speak Your Piece

come on, you have a 1 in 365 chance!

• Doorguy 1: Do you have anything else with your name on it?
• Girl: No, I only brought my ID with me.
• Doorguy 1: Okay then, what's your birthday?
• Girl: (pauses) I don't know.
• Doorguy 2: You are so adorable! You need to leave.

@ 40 watt
Overheard by: over see er
Filed Under 40 Watt | Drinking

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

play it again, sam

• Drunk Girl 1: Why are you cradling that bottle of champagne like it's a baby?
• Drunk Girl 2: I'm trying to make music, Sarah. I'm trying to make music.

@ off-campus apartment
Overheard by: thankfully sober
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

miss popularity

• Drunk Girl 1: I just never was able to do that opening your throat thing.
• Drunk Girl 2: You've got to figure it out, it makes everything so much easier!

@ Boars Head bathroom
Overheard by: carolinablonde (105)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

but for how long?

• Drunk Guy 1: Hey dude, let's play quarters again.
• Drunk Guy 2: If you wait like 10 minutes we'll have ping-pong balls and we can play beer bong.
• Drunk Guy 1: Well, yeah, but I'm already standing up.

@ Random party.
Overheard by: The Man
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

slippery when hammered

• (Two girls enter bathroom, laughing and talking loudly)
• Drunk sorostitute: Ohmigod, you need a shower!
• Drunker sorostitute: Yeah girl, help me!
• (Shower water starts running)
• Drunk sorostitute: Ohmigod girl, I, like, totally forgot to get you a towel or some clothes! Stay here, okay? Stay here? Promise you won't get out until I have something to cover you with!
• Drunker sorostitute: (slurring) Okay, okay, I'll be fine.
• (Drunk sorostitute leaves, there is silence for a few moments, followed by a ground-shaking thud of the remaining girl hitting the floor)
• Drunker sorostitute: Fuhhhhhhhhhck.

@ Brumby Bathroom
Overheard by: jr2749
Filed Under Dorm life | Drinking

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

the rest just kind of falls into place

• Girl: How do you meet people?
• Guy: Well, I like alcohol and premarital sex.

@ Publix on Barnett Shoals
Overheard by: jluga08
Filed Under Drinking | Hooking up

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

losing my religion

• Guy: So I got offered a job at this church as a youth pastor.
• Girl: Really? That's great!
• Guy: Yeah. It just puts me in a kinda weird position though, because, you know, I really like my cigarettes and I really like my beers. I mean, I don't want that to keep me from being what God wants me to be, but...
• Girl: Yeah...

@ Walking around campus
Overheard by: Cam
Filed Under Drugs | Drinking

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Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece

there should be an underage drinking handbook

• Bimbo: Do you guys have any drink specials?
• Bartender: We've got dollar-off drafts.
• Bimbo: What's a draft?
• Bartender: Could I see your ID again?

@ RPM
Overheard by: Nick
Filed Under Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

maybe he's just looking for a contact lens

• Taking a powernap.

@ Clayton Street
Overheard by: Rooster
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece

maybe the drunk brad is the real brad

• Girl: Brad, I just want you to know that I really care about you. It just worries me when you drink like this. It's like you change into another person when you're drunk and I know that's not the real you. I love you. I just want to see you make the right decisions.
• (silence)
• Girl: Are you even listening?
• (Brad starts snoring)
  

@ taxi cab after downtown
Overheard by: tomcat706 (60)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | In the car

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

and that buddha bar is a temple

• Girl 1: (to Bartender) We need 8 shots of tequila... it's her birthday!
• (Girl 2 walks up to the bar)
• Girl 1: (to Girl 2) I just ordered 8 shots of tequila!
• (Girl 2 looks horrified)
• Girl 1: No, it's okay, my mom thinks El Centro is a restaurant!

@ El Centro
Overheard by: bartender (15)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

if by meat you mean flappy roast beef...

• Marquee outside of the library.

@ East Clayton
Overheard by: Patrick
Filed Under Drinking | Ew.

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Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece

good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

• (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
• Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
• Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
• Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

@ Broad Street
Overheard by: MK
Caption by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

and the worst part of all... he spilled ketchup on his shirt at dinner

• Prior to passing out, this guy not only threw up all over himself, but he also peed his pants.

@ in the back of a taxi cab
Overheard by: tomcat706 (60)
Filed Under Drinking | Ew.

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Comments (19) | Speak Your Piece

athens, home of the minor in possession

• Training for college.

@ Lumpkin Street
Overheard by: em2125 (15)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

sam adams the study buddy

• Fratty 1: Dude, are you ready for the final? I'm nervous.
• Fratty 2: Not me. I had a beer to calm the nerves.
• Fratty 1: You had a beer?
• Fratty 2: Yeah, a beer or two. I got to pee.

@ Physics final
Overheard by: All-nighter
Filed Under Drinking | In class

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Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece

i went out and got horsefaced last night

• Horse head drinking bear.

@ house party
Overheard by: wasthatyourparty.blogspot.com
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece

i must be going to the wrong parties

• Drunk Girl: She was really drunk.
• Guy: I think you're all really drunk.
• Drunk Girl: No. I mean she-showed-me-her-pussy drunk.

@ Woodlands Pool
Overheard by: lawdawg (60)
Filed Under Drinking | Ew.

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

those wily gator fans...

• Drunk guy: Hey there officer, was the music too loud?
• Cop: We had a complaint about the noise and some underage drinking. I'm gonna let you off the hook this time, but I don't want to see anyone walking around with red solo cups in there.
• Drunk guy: Oh, don't worry officer... we have green ones.

@ crazy party
Overheard by: Em
Caption by: Rainykita (11)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

well, we know what she gave up for lent

• Sister: So, I talked to mom. Supposedly everyone is coming for Easter. Kristin is coming and supposedly she just got out of rehab for alcoholism. Can you believe that?
• Brother: Does that mean we can't drink at Easter?
• Sister: Well, only a little.

@ Jot 'Em Down BBQ
Overheard by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Caption by: kitten (105)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

point / counterpoint

• (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)
• Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.
• Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

@ Whistlebury apts.
Overheard by: omgrly
Caption by: cjc3552 (100)
Filed Under Pwn! | Hooking up | Drinking

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

so, none of the above

• Drunk Girl: Um, can I like, get a taco please?
• Cashier: Sure. What kind would you like? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
• Drunk Girl: Um, like, meat, I guess?
• Cashier: Well, what kind of meat? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
• Drunk Girl: Um, you know, like that stuff that comes on tacos at Taco Bell?

@ Cali N Tito's
Overheard by: Cali
Filed Under At work | Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (10) | Speak Your Piece

binge or binge not. there is no sip.

• Fratty: Are you going downtown tonight?
• Sorostitute: No, I can't.
• Fratty: Oh, come on.
• Sorostitute: I really can't. I gave up binge drinking for Lent.

@ Sanford Hall
Overheard by: Carol
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

why not both?

• Drunk guy: You can't come to Mardi Gras with us, its a boys-only trip.
• Drunk girl: Please?
• Drunk guy: Maybe, if you show my your tits.
• Drunk girl: Now, or later?

@ Bar
Overheard by: woooohoooo
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

or he could be a turfgrass management major

• Drunk Guy 1: What class do you have at nine?
• Drunk Guy 2: Fire ants.
• Drunk Guy 1: What?
• Drunk Guy 3: I assume he meant finance.

@ my apartment
Overheard by: DMac
Filed Under Drinking | Lost in translation

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Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece

in this case, it wasn't worth a shot

• Drunk Girl: (to Guy) Hey, I need to get laid tonight. Will you buy me a shot?
• (Guy and Drunk Girl take a shot)
• Drunk Girl: Okay, thanks!
• (Drunk Girl walks away)

@ the Loft
Overheard by: heygirlhey
Filed Under Drinking | Hooking up | Pwn!

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

that's what you get for partying at officemax

• guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

@ Transmetropolitan downtown
Overheard by: suds slinger
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Football | Pwn!

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remember that time when we were all breathing?

• Girl 1: Do you remember that time when we were all kind of drunk at Gumby's?
• Girl 2: Um, you just described all of freshman year.

@ Snelling
Overheard by: rbrent (78)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece

its sad when even professors think thursday is the weekend

• Professor: It's referring to how the different organs in your body perform different functions. Your heart pumps blood and your liver helps you recover from Thursday night.

@ SLC
Overheard by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under Drinking | In class | SLC

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

is it friday night already?

• (After a failed keg stand)
• Guy 1: You have to put it all the way in your mouth!
• Guy 2: Only if you're pumping it while I do it!

@ Moose Club
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Drinking | Gay | Hooking up

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Comments (19) | Speak Your Piece

"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

• Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
• Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
• Girl 1: Five.

@ Athens Area
Overheard by: roommate's 2 girlfriend
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (13) | Speak Your Piece

there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

• Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
• (Pause)
• Sober Guy: I live here.
• Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

@ in front of The Library
Overheard by: Shelly
Caption by: McIcehouse (96)
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

he's the worst stalker ever

• Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Like, ohmigod, I should be falling over right, now!
• Drunk Freshman Girl 2: No, girl, you're fine.
• Drunk Freshman Girl 1: And, ohmigod! Like, why was Joseph kissing all over me?
• Drunk Freshman Girl 2: Because he doesn't know that you have a boyfriend!
• Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Ohmigod, does he not check Facebook? Like, what the eff?
• Drunk Freshman Girl 2: I guess not, girl.

@ Brumby Hall
Overheard by: Brumby Desk Assistant
Filed Under Dorm life | Drinking | Facebook

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Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece

keychain breathalyzers are great stocking stuffers

• Drunk Guy 1: You cool to drive?
• Drunk Guy 2: Yeah, unless I get pulled over.

@ transmet
Overheard by: sober
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (22) | Speak Your Piece

good thing they weren't using the blender for margaritas

• Girl: You were ridiculous last night. You were hitting on everyone.
• Guy: I know, I was so drunk last night I would have stuck my dick in anything.

@ Five Points Deli
Overheard by: Kate
Filed Under Drinking | Ew.

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

• Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
• Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
• Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
• Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

@ Corner of Clayton St. and College Ave.
Overheard by: Srsly?
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece

though his sense of humor sounds far from it

• Guy 1: So some drunk guy just walked into your room and pissed in your roommate's dresser?
• Guy 2: Pretty much.
• Guy 1: And you just stood there? What kind of friend are you?
• Guy 2: A dry one.

@ Orbit Bus
Overheard by: CT
Filed Under Drinking | Ew. | The bus

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

that's the other kind of free ride

• Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
• Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
• Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
• Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

@ WatchDawgs Dispatch Around 2AM
Overheard by: WatchDawgs, Inc.
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking
Provided courtesy of WatchDawgs, Inc.

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giving new meaning to driving on fumes

• Professor: I saw you on your scooter the other day! I waved and yelled but I guess you didn't hear me.
• Student: Oh, I had my iPod headphones in... and I'm usually blitzed.

@ Gilbert
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Drinking | In class

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

and the superlative for "take home to mom" goes to...

• Drunk Girl: I feel so trashy right now!
• Guy: I mean, you did just flash two construction workers.

@ The Summit
Overheard by: one guy (45)
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece

if it ain't broke...

• Hipster: I like Nyquil. But Nyquil with liquor in it? Kinda gross.

@ mall of georgia, buford.
Overheard by: katie
Filed Under Drinking | Drugs | Ew. | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

• Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
• Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
• Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
• Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

@ Downtown
Overheard by: Say What?! (15)
Caption by: kitten (105)
Filed Under Drinking | Downtown

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

the limit as age goes to zero is... wait, where's my drink?

• Drunk sorostitute: I learn so much at college!
• Drunk fratty: Like... calc?
• Drunk sorostitute: No, like did you know before a baby is born, it's zero years old?

@ Firehouse
Overheard by: Michelle
Filed Under Drinking | Dumbass

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

there's nothing better than a bus with it's own full bar

• Passenger: Want a beer?
• Driver: No thanks.
• Passenger: Shot of something?
• Driver: I am driving a 40,000 pound bus, no thanks.

@ Night Bus
Overheard by: ?????
Filed Under At work | Drinking | Wtf?

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

• 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
• Bartender: May I see some ID first?

@ The Globe
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

• Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

@ Barcode
Overheard by: Allison Weiss
Filed Under Downtown | Drinking

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Comments (12) | Speak Your Piece

nothing like an existential crisis on your birthday

• Drunk Girl: Hey! Hey! It's my birthday!
• Drunk Guy: Really? So how old are you?
• (Drunk Girl opens her wallet and stares at a fake ID)
• Drunk Girl: Well, according to this one, it says I'm 22.

@ bourbon street
Overheard by: friend
Filed Under Bourbon Street | Drinking

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

maybe that's just what he drank on the trip

• Georgia Mom: So, my son came home with a whole bunch of recycling in the back of his truck.
• (pauses)
• Georgia Mom: It was all beer bottles, but at least he's recycling.

@ pharmacy
Overheard by: friend
Filed Under Drinking

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Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece

which resulted in that infamous sliding glass door incident

• Drunk guy 1: Hey, why aren't you doing a keg stand or funneling something?
• Drunk guy 2: I've stopped doing that sort of thing.
• Drunk guy 1: Why?
• Drunk guy 2: The last four times I have, I whipped my cock out.

@ post-game on Springdale
Overheard by: maroonathens
Filed Under Drinking | Wtf?

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

that is definitely on the list of warning signs

• Girl: Ugh, I couldn't sleep at all last night. I think it's because I was sober.
  

@ Sorority Rush
Overheard by: Emily
Filed Under Drinking | Greek Life | One-liners

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Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece

good friends will never lie to you

• Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
• Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.