Quotes Filed Under "Dumbass"


it's in the back next to the 2010 super bowl

1 [+ / -]     Jul 02, 2009

  • Customer: Do you have the live action version of "Blood, The Last Vampire?"
  • Clerk: I didn't know there was one. Is it new or old?
  • Customer: I looked online and it said it comes out next month.

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yes, i do work on commission. why do you ask?

11 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2009

  • Girl: Can you tell me the differences between the Dodge Ram 1500 and the Ford F-150?
  • Car Salesman: I don't know much about cars, just what's on the sticker.

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her work keeps her from traveling... or reading... too much

38 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2009

  • Stripper: What do you do?
  • Horny guy: I travel a lot... heading to Vancouver next week.
  • Stripper: Vancouver?
  • Horny guy: Yeah, you know, British Columbia.
  • Stripper: Ooooh! South Carolina!
  • Horny guy: Yeah, Vancouver, South Carolina.

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they aren't known for their self-esteem

31 [+ / -]     Jun 08, 2009

  • Host: How many are in your party?
  • Sorostitute: (counts everyone) One, two, three, four, five... five.
  • Host: Did you count yourself?
  • Sorostitute: (counts again) One, two, three, four, five, six... six.

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better safe than stupid

111 [+ / -]     May 05, 2009

  • Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.
  • Friend: Oh my God, why!?
  • Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

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simpson?

64 [+ / -]     May 01, 2009

  • Student: Could you tell me how much Homer's Odyssey costs?
  • Info lady: Who's the author?
  • Student: Homer...

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i wouldn't declare "mission accomplished" just yet

-35 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2009

  • Guy 1: Dude, you said her name right the first time! It took me like four tries.
  • Guy 2: I'm a stickler for pronunciation. But that's only because I used to mispronunciate all the time.

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