was genesis friends with the eli guy?

• Old man: Yeah, that's in The Book of Genesis.
• Young guy: I don't read magazines!

@ drug store
Overheard by: mb (73)
Filed Under Dumbass

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i guess she plans on living a very long time

• Sorostitute 1: What is the one thing you want to do before you die?
• Sorostitute 2: Um... I think I want to visit all 53 states.
• Sorostitute 1: Oh my god, me too!

@ Legion Pool
Overheard by: Wait...What!?! (30)
Filed Under Dumbass

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it didn't break, it was suicide

• Sorostitute on cell: Yeah, my computer broke so I had to take it in to get fixed.
• (pause)
• Sorostitute on cell: They said it would take three weeks before I can go pick it up.
• (pause)
• Sorostitute on cell: Three weeks... you know, thirty days.

@ Milledge Bus Stop
Overheard by: TimeFlies
Filed Under Dumbass | On the phone

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laissez les blonde temps rouler

• Incoming Freshman: So this is Bourbon Street? Oh my God, it's not actually a street!?

@ Right Outside Bourbon Street
Overheard by: The Third Oogie
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners

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and i have hipbones, therefore i am a snake

• Professor: Tell me what's wrong with this argument. "All vertebrates have hipbones. Snakes are vertebrates. Therefore, snakes have hipbones."
• Freshmen Girl: Snakes aren't vertebrates, everyone knows that!
• Professor: Are you sure about that, cupcake? What are they then, aliens?

@ PHIL2200
Overheard by: Kat (215)
Filed Under Dumbass | In class

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are they talking about prices, or their IQs?

• Redneck Girl 1:Hey, what's 11 plus 12?
• Redneck Girl 2: Um, I don't know. Let me get my cell phone out.

@ Target, Atlanta Highway
Overheard by: Seriously?
Filed Under Dumbass

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the stork brought them

• (Talking about earthworms on the ground after a rain)
• Girl 1: Ew! Ew! Where did they come from?
• (Girl 2 laughs)
• Girl 1: No! Like, seriously, where did they come from?

@ Outside Brumby
Overheard by: None
Filed Under Dumbass

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and they're brought by a stork

• (Girl picks up a dill plant)
• Girl: What is this? Is this dill?
• Guy: Yeah, I think it is.
• Girl: Nuh uh! It doesn't have those little pickles on it!

@ EastSide
Overheard by: thinksb4hespeaks
Filed Under Dumbass

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the food pyramid wasn't built in a day

• Girl 1: Oh my God, I really don't need this sopapilla. It's like a million extra calories that I don't need.
• Girl 2: Don't worry. Isn't ice cream a vegetable?
• Girl 1: What? No?
• Girl 2: Yeah, yeah it is. Ice cream comes from cows and cows eat grass. Grass is a vegetable.
• Girl 1: Really? Well, I feel so much better now.

@ La Parilla
Overheard by: Kitty
Filed Under Dumbass

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that just crepes me out

• Waitress: What would you like to order?
• Sorostitute 1: I think I'll get an order of creepies.
• Sorostitute 2: Um, I think they're pronounced cray-pes.
  

@ Ihop
Overheard by: LMFAO
Filed Under Dumbass

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double science fail

• Professor: Can anyone name a mammal that needs to hold its breath for a long time?
• Student 1: A frog?
• Professor: Um, no. Definitely not a frog.
• Student 2: A manatee?
• Professor: What's a manatee?

@ Life Sciences
Overheard by: Grocery Bag Slave
Filed Under Dumbass | In class

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maybe you, but not the rest of us

• Student 1: We're eukaryote, right?
• Student 2: Yeah, we're eukaryotic. We're animals.
• Student 1: And we're unicellular? Or maybe just two cells?

@ GSU Biology Lab
Overheard by: Super Super Smart
Filed Under Dumbass

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automatic diarrhea for the people

• Girl 1: Where you want to go eat?
• Girl 2: I don't know. Weaver D's?
• Girl 1: I've never been there before. Isn't that a seafood restaurant?
• Girl 2: No, that's Captain D's!
• Girl 1: Oh yeah, you're right.

@ Stegman Coliseum
Overheard by: Paula
Filed Under Dumbass

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how you know it's time to stop the olympics drinking game

• Girl: (watching Olympics) Wait, what do they speak in Denmark?
• Guy: German?
• Girl: No, I don't think so. Spanish? No that doesn't make sense. French? No. Yeah, maybe German.

@ GaTech
Overheard by: GaTechie
Filed Under Dumbass | GA Tech

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there's a second time for everything

• Guy: Man, that river is going to get just as high as it was the last time it was this high.

@ GEOG / GEOL
Overheard by: Trucker (142)
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners

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they also said "gullible" isn't in the dictionary

• Sorostitute 1: Is Valentine's Day on the 17th this year?
• Sorostitute 2: No, it's the same day every year.
• Sorostitute 1: No it's not. Someone told me that it's like Christmas and is on a different day every year.

@ Kroge, East Side
Overheard by: Kamila
Filed Under Dumbass

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obviously someone has never read the two towers

• (In Marine Biology class)
• Professor: Can anyone name an animal that can't move?
• Student: A tree!

@ Instructional Plaza
Overheard by: GADawg439 (30)
Filed Under Dumbass | In class

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yeah, go ahead and lick it

• (Regarding the salt on the sidewalk)
• Girl 1: Hey, what is that?
• Girl 2: I dunno. It kinda looks like Dippin' Dots!

@ @ Tate Plaza
Overheard by: Really?
Filed Under Dumbass | Tate

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it might be time to stop doing sudoku in class

• Girl 1: (pronouncing slowly) Cy-pri-ot. Why do they make words so long?
• Girl 2: I know, and in English, too!

@ north campus/old college
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Filed Under Dumbass | North Campus

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where are those "i park like an asshole" bumper stickers when you need them?

• This asshole took up two whole spaces to park their Expedition at Target.

@ Target
Overheard by: Kathryn
Filed Under Dumbass

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i'll be the judge of that

• Sorostitute 1: Isn't your mom a judge?
• Sorostitute 2: Yeah, she like a supreme court judge. No, wait, shes a probate court judge, but it's the same thing.

@ escort van
Overheard by: driver
Filed Under Dumbass

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insert joke about cutting the cheese here

• (After returning home from the grocery store)
• Sorostitute 1: Where is the Velveta?
• Sorostitute 2: Oh, that's why I was in the cheese isle.

@ Fiesta
Overheard by: Ananomyous
Filed Under Dumbass

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maybe it's maxed out

• Girl 1: I hate my phone. It's a piece of crap. Like, when I plug it in, it says "Cannot Charge." I don't even know what that means.
• Girl 2: (after an awkward silence) Seriously?

@ North-South Bus
Overheard by: justme
Filed Under Dumbass | The bus

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d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y d-o-t c-o-m

• Freshman Girl: (on laptop) How do you spell "caffeine?"
• Freshman Guy: Hmm, I know this. Yeah, it's c-a-f-f-i-n-e.
• Freshman Girl: Thanks. I've never had to spell that word in my life. But I guess that's the kind of stuff journalism majors have to know, huh?

@ ZBMLC Jittery Joe's
Overheard by: Brent Spotswood
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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at least she'll get points for spelling her name right

• Shawty 1: Yeah gurl, I'm taking the GRE in the spring!
• Shawty 2: What's the GRE?
• Shawty 1: Haha, I don't know! My mom told me to take it.

@ ECV
Overheard by: Jose
Filed Under Dumbass

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there should be an underage drinking handbook

• Bimbo: Do you guys have any drink specials?
• Bartender: We've got dollar-off drafts.
• Bimbo: What's a draft?
• Bartender: Could I see your ID again?

@ RPM
Overheard by: Nick
Filed Under Drinking | Dumbass

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parking is hard when you see two of everything

• A neighbor missed the parking lot when attempting to park.

@ river club
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass

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looks like the parachute failed to deploy

• Some people drive forward when they should really be reversing.

@ Pineview Townhomes
Overheard by: Kaylee
Filed Under Dumbass

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intelligence should count in there somewhere

• Professor: What defines quality of life? Happiness? Health? Money? Lack of acquired disease?
• Sorostitute: Um, everyone knows that you can't acquire diseases, you are born with them.
• Professor: Moving on now. Quality of life, anyone?

@ Showtime Bowling
Overheard by: Kat (215)
Filed Under Dumbass | In class

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tire tracks on the north quad would look kinda tacky

• Freshman Girl: God, I have to figure out this bus schedule. Why isn't there one that goes from Peabody to Park?1

@ O-House
Overheard by: rly?
Filed Under The bus | One-liners | Dumbass

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round two: guess what city we're in!

• Girl: I don't like what this place has, we need to go to Target.
• Guy: We are at Target.
• Girl: No, were at Wal-Mart!
• Guy: Um, Look around. We are at Target.
• (pause)
• Girl: Shit!

@ Athens, GA
Overheard by: 2cents
Filed Under Dumbass

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theoretically yes, though it might be hard to keep kosher

• Girl 1: I think he's Jewish... he has one of those hats on. I also think he's gay by the way he talks.
• Girl 2: Can you be gay and Jewish?

@ Gilbert Hall
Overheard by: Anon.
Filed Under Gay | Dumbass

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so is it chicken or fish?

• Girl: This was not what I wanted on my nachos. There are tomatoes on here. What kind of cheese is this?
• Employee: We can take the tomatoes off, and the cheese is white cheddar.
• Girl: Don't y'all have any American cheese?
• Employee: No, I'm sorry, we don't.
• Girl: (to friend) I can't believe they don't have any American cheese! Why wouldn't they have American cheese?
• Customer in line: Because this is a Mexican restaurant?

@ Taco Stand
Overheard by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under At work | Dumbass | Taco Stand

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@
Overheard by:

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it's in the back next to the 2010 super bowl

• Customer: Do you have the live action version of "Blood, The Last Vampire?"
• Clerk: I didn't know there was one. Is it new or old?
• Customer: I looked online and it said it comes out next month.

@ Vision Video
Overheard by: flickskinny
Caption by: cjc3552 (100)
Filed Under Dumbass | At work

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yes, i do work on commission. why do you ask?

• Girl: Can you tell me the differences between the Dodge Ram 1500 and the Ford F-150?
• Car Salesman: I don't know much about cars, just what's on the sticker.

@ Athens Dodge
Overheard by: bumseeker
Filed Under At work | Dumbass

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her work keeps her from traveling... or reading... too much

• Stripper: What do you do?
• Horny guy: I travel a lot... heading to Vancouver next week.
• Stripper: Vancouver?
• Horny guy: Yeah, you know, British Columbia.
• Stripper: Ooooh! South Carolina!
• Horny guy: Yeah, Vancouver, South Carolina.

@ Toppers
Overheard by: missing Athens
Filed Under Dumbass

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they aren't known for their self-esteem

• Host: How many are in your party?
• Sorostitute: (counts everyone) One, two, three, four, five... five.
• Host: Did you count yourself?
• Sorostitute: (counts again) One, two, three, four, five, six... six.

@ The Grill
Overheard by: Ashley
Filed Under Dumbass | The Grill

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better safe than stupid

• Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.
• Friend: Oh my God, why!?
• Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

@ Mell
Overheard by: Ho Runner
Caption by: thelazyone (40)
Filed Under Dorm life | Dumbass

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simpson?

• Student: Could you tell me how much Homer's Odyssey costs?
• Info lady: Who's the author?
• Student: Homer...

@ UGA Bookstore
Overheard by: really?
Filed Under At work | Dumbass

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Comments (29) | Speak Your Piece

i wouldn't declare "mission accomplished" just yet

• Guy 1: Dude, you said her name right the first time! It took me like four tries.
• Guy 2: I'm a stickler for pronunciation. But that's only because I used to mispronunciate all the time.

@ Little Kings
Overheard by: bit (105)
Filed Under Dumbass

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if walt disney can do it...

• Girl 1: So, did you hear that they found a 40,000 year-old baby mammoth in ice?
• Girl 2: No way! Was it still alive?
• Girl 1: Seriously?

@ Milledge Ave. dog park
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass

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in a past life, maybe?

• Drunk Girl: How old are you?
• Bartender cleaning up her vomit: Twenty-six.
• Drunk Girl: Have you ever been Twenty-four?

@ Whole Whole Theatre
Overheard by: ew.
Filed Under Dumbass | Ew.

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so, none of the above

• Drunk Girl: Um, can I like, get a taco please?
• Cashier: Sure. What kind would you like? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
• Drunk Girl: Um, like, meat, I guess?
• Cashier: Well, what kind of meat? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
• Drunk Girl: Um, you know, like that stuff that comes on tacos at Taco Bell?

@ Cali N Tito's
Overheard by: Cali
Filed Under At work | Drinking | Dumbass

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i'll have a salt and pepper light

• Beer Tour Guide: Who can tell me three ingredients in beer?
• Fratty 1: Alcohol!
• Beer Tour Guide: No, that's actually a by-product.
• Fratty 2: Salt and pepper!

@ Terrapin
Overheard by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under Dumbass

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easy come, easy go

• Freshman girl: You want to hear a really embarrassing story? At graduation, you know how you're supposed to throw your hat? I threw my diploma instead.

@ Near Soule
Overheard by: doorholder (15)
Filed Under Dumbass | High School | One-liners

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understanding temperature is not one of them

• Fratty 1: All of this snow and shit better be gone when I get back from fucking spring break, man.
• Fratty 2: It'll be over a week from now, so I'm pretty sure it'll all be gone.
• Fratty 1: You never know man. Global warming does all kinds of crazy shit.

@ O'House
Overheard by: Anonymous
Filed Under Dining hall | Dumbass

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even more common than you might think

• I hope this happens at Tech too...

@ Bio lab
Overheard by: seriously?
Filed Under Dumbass

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hope she scores a perfect 320%

• Sorostitute: So our final for that class is gonna be eight questions, which scares me because that means each one is worth, like, 40% of the test.

@ Ramsey
Overheard by: Anon.
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners | Ramsey

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vendredi gras and ash saturday don't have the same ring

• (After seeing girls dressed in green, yellow and purple pile into a taxi)
• Girl: Looks like someone's going downtown to celebrate Mardi Gras.
• Guy: Lucky! Ugh! Why does it have to be on a Tuesday this year?

@ East Campus
Overheard by: MLE
Filed Under Dumbass

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kicker for the falcons, dumbass

• Fratty 1: So I heard Michael Adams makes like $600,000.
• Fratty 2: Who's Michael Adams?

@ SLC
Overheard by: anon
Filed Under Dumbass

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Comments (36) | Speak Your Piece

funny, i don't remember voting for him

• Sorostitute: Who is that guy?
• Guy: Really? That's the President.
• Sorostitute: Of the United States?
• Guy: No.
• Sorostitute: I mean, not the current President. You know what I mean.
• Guy: No, that's the President of UGA.
• Sorostitute: Oh, hah. Wait, we have a President of UGA?

@ SLC during tornado warning
Overheard by: Lost for words
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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let's hope it wasn't an english assignment

• Guy 1: I'm not slow, I'm just less speedier than everybody else.
• Guy 2: Less speedier. I think that explains everything right there.

@ Library
Overheard by: bsm
Filed Under Dumbass

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can you repeat the question?

• Sorostitute 1: So my Philosophy professor was telling my class about his professor in college making their final one question. So we asked what the question was and he said "Why?"
• Sorostitute 2: That's so mean to not tell you the question.

@ North-South Bus
Overheard by: the observer (60)
Filed Under The bus | Dumbass

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now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to math class

• Guy: What time is it? I have to get to class.
• Girl: 7:25.
• Guy: Sweet! I'm five minutes early for being ten minutes early.
• Girl: Oh my gosh, why are you coming to class 25 minutes early? You're such an overachiever, you bookworm!

@ East-West bus
Overheard by: mentalmath
Filed Under Dumbass | The bus

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"hello? geico? i was wondering if i have the complete dumbass coverage on my policy..."

• apparently she didn't notice that the driveway ended...

@ Windsor Place, Macon HWY
Overheard by: dandan (30)
Filed Under Dumbass

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alaho!

• Sign in the College Station Kroger, taken 2-12-09

@ Kroger Parking Lot
Overheard by: J. Frick
Filed Under Dumbass

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Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece

when she stops lying, she can finally become a real blond

• (During a weight lifting class)
• Girl 1: I want blonder hair. I think I'm going to get highlights.
• Girl 2: Yeah, my hair is naturally blond, but for some reason my roots come out brown.

@ Ramsey
Overheard by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | Ramsey

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Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece

what does that say about kindergarten teachers?

• Student 1: I just got my paper back, and the good thing about college is that the teachers, they have been through college.
• Student 2: What do you mean?
• Student 1: Well in high school my english teacher always tried to correct me, but what does she know? She never went to college.
• Student 2: Why do you say that?
• Student 1: Because she taught high school.

@ Woodruff Park
Overheard by: Girl
Filed Under Dumbass

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she got it from a strange man on halloween

• Girl 1: Wait, why are there four main characters in The Three Musketeers?
• Girl 2: Because it's all about the wannabe guy, but he's not actually part of the three.
• Girl 1: Oh, right! I guess that's why the candy is called Four Musketeers!
• Guy: Uh, where do you buy your candy?

@ Movie Theater
Overheard by: MLE
Filed Under Dumbass

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her MRS degree is a double major

• Sorostitute 1: Oh, what, so you believe in more than one god?
• Sorostitute 2: Yeah, I'm a polygamist!

@ Reed Hall
Overheard by: anonymous
Caption by: McIcehouse (96)
Filed Under Dorm life | Dumbass

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don't forget to take wind resistance into account

• Athlete 1: What is the size of Africa?
• Athlete 2: It's 200,000 square miles per hour.

@ East Campus Express Bus
Overheard by: Always amazed
Filed Under Dumbass | Wtf?

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Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece

as long as there is no grammar involved

• Guy: Yeah, I always do good on standardized tests.

@ Geography/Geology Bus Stop
Overheard by: Someone Who Isn't an English Major
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners

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Comments (14) | Speak Your Piece