click here to add the horrible in bed application

72 [+ / -] Aug 18, 2008

Guy: Man, I was drunk as shit last night. Dude, I hooked up with a freshman. I don't think she liked it though, I tried to friend her on Facebook and she blocked me.

Tate Center

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click here to add the fuckbuddies application

252 [+ / -] Jul 16, 2008

(Two girls are looking at Facebook)
Girl 1: I dunno... Should I add him as a friend?
Girl 2: Yeah dude, totally. Look, you have two friends in common, that means you're acquaintances. Also, you slept with him.

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click here to add the taxi driver application

141 [+ / -] Jun 16, 2008

Taxi Driver: Here's my card. You can call me whenever and I'll come pick you up. Also, it has my Facebook info on there, so you can add me to your friends.
Drunk Girl: Hell yeah! (Looks at card) I'll Facebook the shit out of you, Harold!

Riverwalk

GermanRobot

Facebook

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"...happy mother's day! now do my laundry."

11 [+ / -] May 11, 2008

This was seen on the facebook ad board. So yeah, go buy your mom flowers WITH HER MONEY. Way to go FTD.

Facebook

Sammi (199)

Facebook

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just start poking her... maybe she'll get the hint

48 [+ / -] May 05, 2008

Fratty: Do you think I have a chance?
Girl: Just because you're her friend on Facebook doesn't mean she'll sleep with you.

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click here to add "soul mates" to your profile

97 [+ / -] Mar 05, 2008

Girl 1: I'm pretty sure he is my soul mate.
Girl 2: How can you say that about someone you have never had a conversation with?
Girl 1: Well, I can just tell by stalking him on Facebook.

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my college counselor never mentioned that option

-47 [+ / -] Feb 26, 2008

Roommate 1: (looking at Facebook) Is that the hot girl you work with?
Roommate 2:Yeah dude, and she's getting her PhD in Biochemistry.
Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis.

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it's s small town and all, but still...

153 [+ / -] Jan 25, 2008

Waitress: I went ahead a put you two on the same check
Couple 1: Umm, alright.
Waitress: I knew you were together. I've seen you both on Facebook.
(Waitress walks away)
Couple 2: Guess she only stalks y'all. Were all on separate checks. Do you even know her?
Couple 1: Nope. No idea.

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i have it on good authority from a P.I. - public internet

-7 [+ / -] Jan 21, 2008

Sorostitute 1: I think that's his ex girlfriend.
Sorostitute 2: Which one?
Sorostitute 1: The blonde.
Sorostitute 2: How do you know that?
Sorostitute 1: I stalked him on Facebook... and her too.

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there's an appropriate level of response for everything

44 [+ / -] Dec 24, 2007

Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I thought she was dating him but she was really just sleeping with him. Then, we found out he was sleeping with some other girl, so we both wrote all this stuff on his Facebook profile, but he deleted it... then she totally defriended him!
Sorostitute 2: Wow! When I was mad at Deanna I just removed her from my top friends - I didn't totally defriend her.
Sorostitute 1: Yea, I guess that makes sense.

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because she's not getting poked enough already

78 [+ / -] Dec 11, 2007

(Sorostitute sees her boyfriend with another girl at a bar)
Sorostitute: Who's that slut? I'm going to kill her! Actually I'll probably just Facebook friend her.

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that's practically a wedding

175 [+ / -] Dec 07, 2007

Sorostitute: She's so wrong, I'm no slut. I wouldn't sleep with anyone until we were Facebook official.

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that's one way to crash a server

177 [+ / -] Dec 04, 2007

(Heard across the computer floor in the SLC)
Girl: (yelling) Oh my God! My nipple is on Facebook!

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its important to think long-term

-56 [+ / -] Jul 18, 2007

Sorostitute: Ohmigod! We'll like totally be FBFFL!!
Bartender: Huh?
Sorostitute: You know, Facebook Friends For Life!

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the real fun hasn't even started

-53 [+ / -] Jul 08, 2007

Hungover guy: Last night was out of control!
Hungover girl: Downtown was crazy!
Together: I can't wait for the pictures to be tagged on Facebook!

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gentlemen, the ladies of mary lyndon need you

-12 [+ / -] May 10, 2007

Girl 1: We've started a club in Mary Lyndon... the never-been-kissed, never-had-a-boyfriend club. Apparently, there's a high percentage of those kinds of girls in Mary Lyndon.
Girl 2: Ohmigod, is that a Facebook group?
Girl 1: No! We have more dignity than that!

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he could be president someday

39 [+ / -] Apr 20, 2007

Professor: Nowadays, companies are looking at potential employees' Facebook profiles, MySpaces, things like that to see how they represent themselves. So watch what you put up online, it may cost you jobs down the line.
Fratty: See, but at the end of the day, if it came down to having 500 drunken pictures of me and my friends or a job, I'd pick the pictures!

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since when are they different?

117 [+ / -] Apr 11, 2007

Guy 1: Are y'all friends?
Guy 2: You mean on Facebook?
Guy 1: In real life, dumbass.

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you should try everything once (except that and country line dancing)

96 [+ / -] Apr 11, 2007

Guy: (looking at sorostitute's Facebook profile) You know you still have your gift to give out... and there's a cherry.
Sorostitute: Yeah, I kinda want to give it to my brother.

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