Quotes Filed Under "Football"


you stay classy, alabama

-14 [+ / -]     Nov 17, 2009

  • A customer Someone left this disposable flask at Trappeze on the night of the GA / AU game.

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graduate students gone wild

108 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2009

  • Drunk guy: (screams) Let's get drunk and fuck some whores!
  • Girl: (turns around) Aren't you my TA?

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now, can you pass the flask, please?

-11 [+ / -]     Nov 15, 2009

  • Girl 1: I'm kind of over drinking.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, me too, its getting old.
  • Girl 3: I know! By age 21, it's like, I'm done with it.

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it's gonna take more than a pair of tits to get a cab on a gameday

39 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2009

  • Guy: Will you please put your tits back in your shirt and focus on getting us a goddamn cab?
  • Drunk Girl: Don't say G-D!

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looks like the national pun festival is being held in athens

40 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2009

  • Best sign I saw on Game DAY.

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good luck with that

-4 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2009

  • (In a crowd of people while leaving Sanford Stadium)
  • Drunk Sorostitute: Stop touching me! Everyone just stop touching me!

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revenge is sweet

150 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2009

  • (After the LSU game)
  • LSU Fan: Hey, can you tell me how to get to Downtown?
  • Elderly UGA Fan: (pointing towards south campus) Yeah, it's right down that way.

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dude, just ask her to dinner already

-20 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2009

  • Guy: Man, we're gonna get fucked by LSU. Joe Cox only throws to AJ Green!
  • Girl: Yeah, I know he's godly, but he's not Jesus! He can't catch everything... he's not Jesus! If he could he'd be Herschel Walker.
  • Guy: Man, if I was a smart man... I'd invite to you play some sweet Zelda on my Nintendo.
  • Girl: I freaking love Zelda!

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i guess i have to bring my watch after all

-15 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Who are we playing tomorrow?
  • Drunker Girl: Arizona... Sun Dials.
  • Guy: Sun Dials? That is so dumb. At least we'll know what time it is.
  • (5 minutes later)
  • Drunker Girl: No, they are the Sun Devils!
  • Drunk Girl: Ah, that makes more sense.

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ah, sportsmanship

-44 [+ / -]     May 15, 2009

  • Football player on cell: Yeah man, I gave her herpes.
  • (pause)
  • Football player on cell: Nah, man, I'm not gonna tell her! She doesn't need to worry about that. She needs to be more worried about getting rid of that baby in her stomach.

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so that's a yes?

105 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2009

  • Fratty 1: Is it gay that I get a huge hard on when I watch Knowshon run without a shirt on?
  • Fratty 2: Maybe. All I know is I'd fuck him.

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you'd think he'd be used to it

105 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2009

  • (A football player scoots over from his aisle seat to a window seat to let a girl sit down on a crowded Orbit Bus)
  • Girl: Aw, thanks for scootin' over for me!
  • Football Player: Uh, I actually moved over because you obviously forgot to put deodorant on this morning... but you're welcome.

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

17 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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they may have a won the game, but we make better signs

93 [+ / -]     Jan 01, 2009

  • Found this sign on North Campus. A friend asked what clap was. haha

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there's a pacman joke here somewhere

9 [+ / -]     Dec 30, 2008

  • Her ass got hungry and decided to eat her pants...yummy!

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grabbing a quick nap before class

29 [+ / -]     Nov 03, 2008

  • This was taken on Sanford Dr. (behind SLC) right after the Vandy game..these two grown men were passed out

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"...they just kept falling out of my pocket"

-23 [+ / -]     Oct 29, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: Hey I need help. I lost my car keys.
  • Bus Driver: Did you lose them on this bus?
  • Drunk Guy: I think they are up my ass.
  • Bus Driver: The police officer over there can help you!

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we're cool with that as long as that guy isn't there

-3 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2008

  • Standing outside of the stadium at the vandy game.

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we just sold out, try the next scalper... or bourbon street.

-65 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2008

  • (About one hour after the start of the Vandy game)
  • Ticket scalper: Vandy tickets! Vandy tickets for sale, real cheap!
  • (Two guys walk by)
  • Ticket scalper: Would either of you gentlemen like a Vandy ticket?
  • Guy 1: No, but I would like some pussy, motherfucker!
  • Guy 2: Damn straight!

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context is everything

-23 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2008

  • Girl 1: Ohmigod! That girl is squirting water in those football players mouths.
  • Girl 2: That is so gross!
  • Girl 1: I bet shes a slut.

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we don't want to know what happens at a bad homecoming

-58 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod, you guys. That was, like, the best homecoming ever.
  • Sorostitute 2: I know!
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, my date tried to rape me.

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dooley learned about the power of superglue today

113 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • My 8 week old baby English Bulldog, Dooley, made a new friend!

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rooting for the pink team

0 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2008

  • Fabulous UGA fan's car.

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you can't do shooters when you're asleep

-61 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
  • Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
  • Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

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the quad and i both got trashed

84 [+ / -]     Oct 02, 2008

  • North Campus looks like a landfill after the Alabama game.

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gimme an H!

8 [+ / -]     Sep 30, 2008

  • A poster left on the ground after College Game Day.

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smelling salts would have worked just fine

44 [+ / -]     Sep 29, 2008

  • SOMFing a passed out Bama fan

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stereotype confirmed

63 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2008

  • Georgia Fan: Are you guys, like, cousins?
  • Alabama Guy and Girl: How'd you know!?

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last come, first served

51 [+ / -]     Sep 24, 2008

  • Girl: (trying to sit in her Section 109 seat 15 minutes before kickoff) I don't mean to be a bitch, but my ticket says my seat is right here, and this is where I'm standing. I've been here for four years.
  • Guy: If you've been here for four years, you should now the drill.
  • (Guy turns around)

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can you see me? i'm in the red shirt.

-42 [+ / -]     Sep 08, 2008

  • Team running out onto the field for the Central Michigan game.

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so is the size of that print

39 [+ / -]     Sep 05, 2008

  • flying over Sanford Stadium at the season opener

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you can't shatter an illusion that does not exist

95 [+ / -]     Sep 04, 2008

  • Drunk UGA Fan: Booooo, Eagles you suck! Go Dawgs!
  • Southern Fan: Come on, it's not like we actually think we're gonna win.

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like it's 1799

57 [+ / -]     Sep 04, 2008

  • A bust of Voltaire lives it up on game day.

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we don't get to choose those

5 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (A Southern fan and a Georgia fan are sitting together at the game)
  • Georgia fan 1: You guys might not be friends when this is over.
  • Georgia fan 2: He's my brother. He's not my friend.

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drinking too much had nothing to do with it

10 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
  • Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
  • Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

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what better way to draw attention to the fact than screaming like an idiot

-37 [+ / -]     Sep 01, 2008

  • Southern Fan 1: Georgia!
  • Southern Fan 2: Southern!
  • Georgia Fan: You know y'all lost, right?
  • Southern Fan 1: Yeah. So?

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now that's school spirit

85 [+ / -]     Aug 31, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: So you wanna come back to my place and hang out?
  • Sorostitute: Umm... I don't think so.
  • Drunk Guy: Well, why not?
  • Sorostitute: You're a Southern fan.

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in my day, we had to walk uphill both ways to funnel beer

81 [+ / -]     Jun 26, 2008

  • Granny Gettin' Fucked Up!

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"...thanks for holding me up, young lady"

173 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Old man bringing the Dawg spirit (and probably his viagra too) to St. Simons for Ga/Fl

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dude, put that away

8 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Saw this at one of those stands in the Mall couldn't resist the photo op..

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excuse me, does this bus go to the mall?

33 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Someone was a bit too eager to leave after the '06 Mississippi State game.

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look at my tiny, tiny sign!

14 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Technically Overseen in Jacksonville, not Athens, but certainly affiliated.

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there's your hope scholarship money in action

-31 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Completely empty Vodka bottle at the UGA v. Kentucky game in 2007.

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it was a game day, so the urine was flammable

19 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Burning an Alabama Koozie

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"...no wonder that mel gibson movie made no sense!"

-48 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2008

  • Girl: I'm so mad, I wanted the Patriots to win!
  • Sorostitute: Ohimigod, me too! Because Tony Romo is sooo hot.
  • Girl: Sweetie, he plays for the cowboys.

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what's the hawaiian word for "ouch"

175 [+ / -]     Jan 06, 2008

  • Hawaii Fan 1: Hey man, did you hear them booing our band?
  • Hawaii Fan 2: Yeah man, they take this shit serious.

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something you can expect to not be anytime soon

23 [+ / -]     Dec 29, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Look at all of these old people. I didn't know that there were so many students.
  • Guy: They are all alumni.
  • Sorostitute: Oh... what's an alumni?
  • Guy: Are you serious?

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wait, so all i have to do to pass is score some touchdowns?

68 [+ / -]     Dec 09, 2007

  • Guy: What is your grade in this class?
  • Football player: I have an 86, so hopefully I can get a C in here.
  • Guy: Wait, what did you get on the last test?
  • Football player: We have had a test in here?
  • Guy: Yeah.
  • Football player: Man, I love my tutor!

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i hear they're fond of cubans as well

-29 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2007

  • Girl: I really hope we don't get the Orange Bowl.
  • Guy: Why?
  • Girl: 'Cause, like I hate Miami... they are only nice to you if you're Mexican or gay.

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so we're calling it a flask now?

38 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Before the game on Saturday, me and my boyfriend went to tape my flask to my leg. After he was done, he said he wanted to have sex, so I said OK. Then the whole time he complained about the flask going up his ass.

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once more for emphasis

102 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2007

  • Professor: I hope that explains it. If it doesn't, I don't know another way to explain it, so, screw you.
  • Football player: That is bullshit! (slams desk down, stands up to leave)
  • Professor: Wait, wait, I was going to give a quiz. Hang on.
  • (the class takes the quiz)
  • Professor: Now, where was I? Um, oh yeah. Don't know another way to explain it, screw you.
  • Football player: That is bullshit! (slams desk down, leaves)

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heritage? no, i'm just from the south

-29 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2007

  • Girl: So were you Greek?
  • Alumni girl: Ummm... I'm not sure... maybe.
  • (Girl looks confused)
  • Alumni girl: But I am Southern
  • Girl: I mean, were you in asorority?

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the blackout was meant to include that, too

139 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2007

  • (At a tailgating party for UGA vs Auburn)
  • Party crasher: Who are you guys talking about?
  • Hostess: That fat girl right there.
  • Party crasher: Which one?
  • Hostess: The one wearing a sweater as a mini dress and the furry boots. She's not wearing any panties and everyone's sick of seeing her va-jay-jay.
  • Party crasher: That's my wife.

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i knew rats were dirty, but damn

200 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Come out with us after the game!
  • Sorostitute 2: No, I'm going to stay in tonight. My roommate just got Ratatouille!
  • Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod, I've heard of that! Isn't that like, even worse than Gonorrhea or Syphilis or something?

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hey, he has a name!

60 [+ / -]     Nov 03, 2007

  • Girl 1: I've decided I'm going to Jacksonville next year.
  • Girl 2: For the big thing with the balls?

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but mom, i'll pay you back for bail!

68 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2007

  • (Talking about the GA/FL game)
  • Guy: You going to the game?
  • Girl: No, I'm not going
  • Guy: You're not going?!
  • Girl: No, I got arrested last year, so my mom said I can't go.

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à la arnold schwarzenegger in "junior"

112 [+ / -]     Oct 15, 2007

  • (After a 40 yard run by Thomas Brown)
  • Guy 1: I want my girlfriend to have his kids.
  • Guy 2: You know if it was possible, I would have his kids.

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she got her parenting tips from britney spears

-6 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Honey, will you go get me a hot dog?
  • Fratty: It's the middle of the game. Go get it yourself.
  • (Sorostitute, frustrated, grabs the spiked drink from his hand and lifts it to her lips)
  • Sorostitute: Well fine! I'll just drink your Jack and Coke, then!
  • Fratty: Fine. Whatever.
  • (A look of shock passes across her face and she grabs her stomach )
  • Sorostitute: But that's not good for the baby!

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god loves students of the game

-59 [+ / -]     Sep 28, 2007

  • Sorostitute: (Looking at a souvenir cub with Herschel Walker's picture on it) You know, all you ever hear about is "Herschel Walker" this and "Herschel Walker" that and, "Oh, yeah, 34," but seriously... when was the last time he did anything good? Like look now... I don't even see a 34 on the grass. All you ever hear about is that Stafford kid and isn't he like a freshman?

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and during eclipses

70 [+ / -]     Sep 28, 2007

  • Girl 1: Hey lauren, are your seats in the shade?
  • Girl 2: They're in the shade during night games.

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remember kids, you talk louder when you're drunk

1578 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2007

  • Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
  • Cop: (on car's loudspeaker) I'm not a motherfucker.

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that's why they call it liquorball

61 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2007

  • (Before the start of the Western Carolina game)
  • Drunk girl 1: Damnit! I forgot the flask!
  • Drunk girl 2: What do you want to do? We can't get back in if we leave.
  • Drunk girl 1: No point in staying. Let's just go.

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here's to keeping our fingers crossed

60 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2007

  • (After an incomplete pass during the South Carolina game.)
  • Drunk girl 1: Eww... that's not good for the game.
  • Drunk girl 2: Yeah, if they keep playing like that, they'll never make it to the Super Bowl!

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looks like he wants to vomit red as well

-71 [+ / -]     Sep 15, 2007

  • Drunk fratty: I bleed Georgia red! I bleed red!
  • (pause)
  • Drunk fratty: I'm gonna go chug some merlot.