Quotes Filed Under "Football"


in my day, we had to walk uphill both ways to funnel beer

58 [+ / -]     Jun 26, 2008

  • Granny Gettin' Fucked Up!

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"...thanks for holding me up, young lady"

122 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Old man bringing the Dawg spirit (and probably his viagra too) to St. Simons for Ga/Fl

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dude, put that away

10 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Saw this at one of those stands in the Mall couldn't resist the photo op..

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excuse me, does this bus go to the mall?

27 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Someone was a bit too eager to leave after the '06 Mississippi State game.

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look at my tiny, tiny sign!

13 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Technically Overseen in Jacksonville, not Athens, but certainly affiliated.

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there's your hope scholarship money in action

-24 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Completely empty Vodka bottle at the UGA v. Kentucky game in 2007.

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it was a game day, so the urine was flammable

14 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Burning an Alabama Koozie

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"...no wonder that mel gibson movie made no sense!"

-44 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2008

  • Girl: I'm so mad, I wanted the Patriots to win!
  • Sorostitute: Ohimigod, me too! Because Tony Romo is sooo hot.
  • Girl: Sweetie, he plays for the cowboys.

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what's the hawaiian word for "ouch"

161 [+ / -]     Jan 06, 2008

  • Hawaii Fan 1: Hey man, did you hear them booing our band?
  • Hawaii Fan 2: Yeah man, they take this shit serious.

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something you can expect to not be anytime soon

21 [+ / -]     Dec 29, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Look at all of these old people. I didn't know that there were so many students.
  • Guy: They are all alumni.
  • Sorostitute: Oh... what's an alumni?
  • Guy: Are you serious?

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wait, so all i have to do to pass is score some touchdowns?

66 [+ / -]     Dec 09, 2007

  • Guy: What is your grade in this class?
  • Football player: I have an 86, so hopefully I can get a C in here.
  • Guy: Wait, what did you get on the last test?
  • Football player: We have had a test in here?
  • Guy: Yeah.
  • Football player: Man, I love my tutor!

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i hear they're fond of cubans as well

-30 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2007

  • Girl: I really hope we don't get the Orange Bowl.
  • Guy: Why?
  • Girl: 'Cause, like I hate Miami... they are only nice to you if you're Mexican or gay.

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so we're calling it a flask now?

35 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Before the game on Saturday, me and my boyfriend went to tape my flask to my leg. After he was done, he said he wanted to have sex, so I said OK. Then the whole time he complained about the flask going up his ass.

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once more for emphasis

95 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2007

  • Professor: I hope that explains it. If it doesn't, I don't know another way to explain it, so, screw you.
  • Football player: That is bullshit! (slams desk down, stands up to leave)
  • Professor: Wait, wait, I was going to give a quiz. Hang on.
  • (the class takes the quiz)
  • Professor: Now, where was I? Um, oh yeah. Don't know another way to explain it, screw you.
  • Football player: That is bullshit! (slams desk down, leaves)

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heritage? no, i'm just from the south

-27 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2007

  • Girl: So were you Greek?
  • Alumni girl: Ummm... I'm not sure... maybe.
  • (Girl looks confused)
  • Alumni girl: But I am Southern
  • Girl: I mean, were you in asorority?

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the blackout was meant to include that, too

132 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2007

  • (At a tailgating party for UGA vs Auburn)
  • Party crasher: Who are you guys talking about?
  • Hostess: That fat girl right there.
  • Party crasher: Which one?
  • Hostess: The one wearing a sweater as a mini dress and the furry boots. She's not wearing any panties and everyone's sick of seeing her va-jay-jay.
  • Party crasher: That's my wife.

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i knew rats were dirty, but damn

190 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Come out with us after the game!
  • Sorostitute 2: No, I'm going to stay in tonight. My roommate just got Ratatouille!
  • Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod, I've heard of that! Isn't that like, even worse than Gonorrhea or Syphilis or something?

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hey, he has a name!

57 [+ / -]     Nov 03, 2007

  • Girl 1: I've decided I'm going to Jacksonville next year.
  • Girl 2: For the big thing with the balls?

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but mom, i'll pay you back for bail!

62 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2007

  • (Talking about the GA/FL game)
  • Guy: You going to the game?
  • Girl: