Quotes Filed Under "Lost in translation"


they decided to stop celebrating mardi gras after that

115 [+ / -]     May 17, 2009

  • Customer: Can I have a refill on my Dr. Pepper?
  • Cashier: Sure! Take your top off.
  • (Customer stares)

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and the dog is in jail

-48 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2009

  • Woman on cell: I can't go anywhere. He got a DUI, so now my car's in the pound.

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or he could be a turfgrass management major

102 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2009

  • Drunk Guy 1: What class do you have at nine?
  • Drunk Guy 2: Fire ants.
  • Drunk Guy 1: What?
  • Drunk Guy 3: I assume he meant finance.

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he's also very stylish and comes with his own allen wrench

8 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2009

  • (On the way to Ikea)
  • Female coworker: Mmmm, I can't wait to eat some Swedish meatballs!
  • Male coworker: I didn't know your boyfriend was Swedish.

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all great change in america begins at the dinner table.

81 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2009

  • Girl 1: He's cute, but he talks about Ronald Reagan all the time! It's giving me an inferiority complex because I'm not Nancy!
  • Girl 2: Yuck, I hate McDonald's. Wait, what?

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someone was a bit too drunk on valentine's day

33 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2009

  • Guy: So, have you seen my new tattoo?
  • Girl: No! (looks at tattoo) I like it, what does it mean?
  • Guy: I'm not sure - either "love" or "free sex."

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-36 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
  • Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
  • Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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despite the math, he does make a good point

43 [+ / -]     Jan 22, 2009

  • Old Guy 1: So, is it cold enough for ya?
  • Old Guy 2: I about froze my ass off out there. I talked to my cousin who lives in Winnipeg. They count in Celsius up there, and he said it's -50, which means -100 in normal temperature. That's cold.

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che frattastica!

115 [+ / -]     Jan 10, 2009

  • Teacher: (in Italian) What are some of the physical attributes of an average UGA student?
  • (Students offer suggestions)
  • Teacher: (in Italian) Short hair, blond hair, medium height, sportive. What else?
  • Student: How do you say North Face in Italian?

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he's a bit unclear on the other half of the word

73 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Fratty 1: I don't like percocets. They don't work and they make my butt itch.
  • Fratty 2: What do you mean they make your butt itch?
  • Fratty 1: The pharmacist said they're analgesics.
  • Fratty 2: Do you know what that means?
  • Fratty 1: I know what anal means.

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plus, babies just taste gross

34 [+ / -]     Dec 02, 2008

  • (During a class discussion of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal)
  • Sorostitute: I think his ideas are offensive, personally. This is, like, kind of sick. It's practically advocating abortions.
  • Professor: It's a satire.
  • Sorostitute: Still, the overall message is pretty terrible.

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that class trip to mexicali wasn't as helpful as the teacher hoped

76 [+ / -]     Dec 01, 2008

  • Girl: How do you say...
  • Teacher: Ah ah ah... en español!
  • Girl: Oh right, sorry. Cómo se dice "taco" en español?

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we're sure he's never gotten that one before

-38 [+ / -]     Nov 25, 2008

  • Girl 1: Who is the Dalai Lama?
  • Girl 2: You don't know who the Dalai Lama is? Tibetan monk?
  • Girl 1: Llama? With two Ls? The monk is a llama?

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don't get snippy with me, mon

172 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2008

  • Girl: So, are you going home to Jamaica over Christmas break?
  • Jamaican Guy: No, my father and I are going to get naturalized next month!
  • Girl: (cringing, looking at Jamaican Guy's crotch) Won't that... hurt?

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it only makes you think you're horny

65 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • Guy 1: So it's a libido?
  • Guy 2: You mean placebo.
  • Guy 1: Oh... yeah.

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someone's been using babelfish

41 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2008

  • can't spell - cocktels

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and another one accidentally leaves the closet

-34 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2008

  • Guy 1: (Wearing a North Face) This shawl is making me so hot right now.
  • Guy 2: Um, that's a jacket.

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with a side of tiger and bear. oh my.

64 [+ / -]     Nov 12, 2008

  • Black guy: A friend of mine is making some African food tonight, and I'm really looking forward to having the leftovers.
  • White guy: Really? Like lion?

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a regular don juan

195 [+ / -]     Nov 02, 2008

  • Spanish Professor: Soon you will begin to prepare for the oral sex. O dios mio! I mean test! Test!

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that's what you get for mouthing off

35 [+ / -]     Oct 26, 2008

  • Girl: You shouldn't have even gone to the bar that night.
  • Guy: Why not?
  • Girl: Because you told him he could give you a blowjob.
  • Guy: I did not! I just said, "a mouth's a mouth."

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1820s or 1920s? either way, you're wrong.

34 [+ / -]     Oct 13, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: I wish I lived in the 60s.
  • Sorostitute 2: I probably would have lived in Gone with the Wind times.
  • Sorostitute 1: Ew... the twenties?

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that misconception isn't quite as common as the other

101 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2008

  • Girl 1: So where in England are you from?
  • Girl 2: No, that's a common misconception. Actually, I'm from South Africa.
  • Girl 1: Oh! I meant where in Europe!
  • Girl 2: Uh... no, not that either.

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which, incidentally, is also his nickname

21 [+ / -]     Aug 10, 2008

  • White Guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it Ty?
  • Asian Guy: No, it's Tee... as in teabagging.
  • White Guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?!
  • Asian Guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said sweet tea.

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talk about a bone-crushing sunburn

40 [+ / -]     Aug 04, 2008

  • (Cloudy day at community pool, a girl and her boyfriend are laying out)
  • Boyfriend: I don't think this is gonna work, there are to many massive clouds in the sky.
  • Girlfriend: Don't worry! The SUVs are still coming down!

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office supplies are a total necessity

92 [+ / -]     Jul 15, 2008

  • Girl: (responding to a question in class) Well perhaps it's the rising cost of staples... food, water, gas, that's raising the cost of living.
  • Guy: (scoffs) Staples?

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sorry, we only studied the first 15 in class

157 [+ / -]     Jul 01, 2008

  • Girl 1: Yeah I really want to visit the 16th Chapel while I'm over there.
  • Girl 2: The what?
  • Girl 1: You know, the 16th Chapel? Michelangelo? Come on, it's really famous.

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and as we all know, listening skills are against their religion

-46 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

  • Guy: (talking to a group of strangers) Your friend is drunk.
  • Girl: Im not Jewish! I'm Fucking Protestant!

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the one that always has it's head in the sand?

32 [+ / -]     Jun 22, 2008

  • Freshman Girl: Does this make me look emo?
  • Freshman Guy: Isn't that like a giant bird or something?

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submitted by anonymous

36 [+ / -]     Jun 19, 2008

  • (After yearbooks were handed out at a high school graduation)
  • Guy 1: Wow, a lot of people quoted Vince Lombardi.
  • Guy 2: No, nearly everyone quoted this one rapper.
  • Guy 1: Yeah, I hardly see any rap quotes. Who was it?
  • Guy 2: I don't really listen to rap, but it was some guy named Anon.

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or anywhere near me for that matter

88 [+ / -]     Jun 11, 2008

  • Guy: (seeing a girl hunched on the stairs at a party) Oh, come on!
  • Girl: Oh, don't "come on" me!
  • Guy: (after a pause) Seriously?

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a case of mistaken identa-p

-101 [+ / -]     Jun 06, 2008

  • Girl 1: Hey Ronda P! How you doin'?
  • Girl 2: What?
  • Girl 1: How you been, Ronda P?
  • Girl 2: What are you talking about? I didn't pee.

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you can drink 'till you're stupid, it won't take long

-31 [+ / -]     May 28, 2008

  • Girl 1: Oh it's Cinco de Mayo today!
  • Girl 2: No it's not, Cinco de Mayo was May first!
  • Girl 1: Cinco... five.
  • Girl 2: Oh... let's go downtown tonight then!

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it really ties the room together

35 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

  • Girl 1: (Referring to a rug) Is that your magic carpet?
  • Girl 2: No... we pray on that.

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like throwing a toggle bolt down a hallway

30 [+ / -]     May 24, 2008

  • (Looking at wall anchors at Wal-Mart)
  • Girl 1: This is the size you need, right here.
  • Girl 2: My hole is way bigger than that.
  • Girl 1: No, this is the one you need
  • Girl 2: No, I am telling you... my hole is bigger than that. If I use that, it is just going to fall out of the hole. Really.

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how easily we forget they're actually the same thing

-8 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Girl: They are virgins. I think they only want to get married so they can have sex.
  • Guy: Why don't they just fuck before they have sex? Wait...

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must have been a great lecture

62 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

  • Girl 1: She said penis 57 times in 26 minutes.
  • Girl 2: I also got 6 erections.

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there is no spoon

-37 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

  • Guy: Hey, where are your shoes? You know there's broken glass and hypodermics on the ground!
  • Sorostitute: (stumbles and slaps Guy in the rib) Hey, I'm not a racist!

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"...you mean your house, right?"

53 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Guy 1: What do you do in Athens in the summer when no one's here?
  • Guy 2: I dunno. Hang out in your house naked.

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can you hear william wallace turning in his grave?

37 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Sociology Instructor: (talking about ideas) Where is the only place that you truly have freedom?
  • Dude: Amsterdam?

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and where the hell did i put that map?

33 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • (Drunk Girl is walking around Russell Hall, talking on cell phone)
  • Drunk Girl on cell: I'm dying! I'm dying!
  • (pause)
  • Drunk Girl on cell: No, I'm walking into Molly O' Sheas right now. Okay, now I'm walking to Sandbar. Yes, see you in a minute.
  • (She walks towards Russell)
  • Drunk Girl on cell:I think, wait, now I'm at sandbar. Help!

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i'll take that as a maybe

-27 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • Guy: Hey, have you seen Rack 'em Willy come through here?
  • Sorostitute: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes.
  • (pause)
  • Guy: Thanks.

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ordering off the taco bell dollar menu doesn't count

55 [+ / -]     May 06, 2008

  • Guy: I love when girls speak different languages!
  • Drunk Girl: I speak Spanish!
  • Guy: Oh really? Como estas?
  • Drunk Girl: What?

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just wishful thinking

-15 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Office Email: I have had several members of the faculty ask me if Dr. Lowe's
    retirement party was still to be held tomorrow evening. The External
    Affairs Committee has cancelled the event because Dr. Lowe will be
    with us next year. Sorry for the confusion.

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any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

113 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • (At breakfast)
  • UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

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you shouldn't trust anyone that can taste with their eyes

16 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2008

  • Guy: Christianity was the religion of the white people who were oppressing them, so I think it left a bad taste in the Indians' eyes.

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not until after the operation

-25 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2008

  • Guy 1: So do you have any siblings?
  • Guy 2: Yeah, I have a twin sister.
  • Guy 1: Oh, that's cool, do y'all look a lot alike?
  • Guy 2: No not really.
  • Guy 1: Oh, so y'all aren't identical?

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and why does my browser keep telling me i need java?

-27 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2008

  • Professor: Cookies are all over your files, they store information from the Web.
  • Girl: (whispering) How do they cookies store stuff, all you can really do with them is eat them.

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[+ / -]     Dec 31, 1969

    @
    Overheard by:
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can't be worse than that shit you eat at mexicali

-37 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

  • Girl 1: So do you think we will like actually see Mexicans?
  • Girl 2: Are you serious... we are going to be in Mexico.
  • Girl 1: Yeah, but will we eat authentic Mexican food?
  • Girl 2: Yes! What else do you expect?
  • Girl 1: Well, I'm not eating it because I heard they crush up bugs and stuff into their food there.

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i'm sure her dad thinks it's hilarious

85 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

  • (Referring to the Sideways Bar shirt that reads, "we accept daddy's credit card" on the back)
  • Girl 1: I don't get it.
  • Girl 2: It's just supposed to be funny.
  • Girl 1: Oh, I get it... like because your swipe your credit card sideways. Ha ha, that is funny.

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and not enough people wear hearing aids

31 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2008

  • Auctioneer: And he's on the UGA Sailing Team!
  • Girl: UGA has a saline team? That's cool! I mean, a lot of people wear contacts.

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