Quotes Filed Under "SLC"


for his sake, let's hope ass kicking is on that list

21 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

  • Guy: Every woman wants to be a man.
  • Girl: No, I'm happy being a girl, we get away with stuff and get out of stuff so much easier!
  • Guy: Yeah, like voting, rights, driving, and good decision making.

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it's been even longer since she paused to breathe

65 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I really want a muffin because they are so good. But I was on the phone with Momma one time in line here and I told her I was about to get a muffin. She said, "you know what happens to girls who eat muffins right? they get muffin tops." Then I looked over and this, like, huge girl was eating a muffin. So I was like, oh my gosh she's right. I haven't had a muffin in like six months.

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no guts no glory

88 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: I was walking outside Park Hall when I felt something wet and nasty hit the back of my neck.
  • Girl 2: Ew... bird poop?
  • Girl 1: No! Get this... it was a hawk or something squeezing the guts out of a baby squirrel... and when I looked up all these squirrel guts hit me in the face!
  • Girl 2: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!
  • Girl 1: So, anyway... do you think this was an omen?

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she's clearly learning to be critical

12 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • (Three sorostitutes are talking after a logic and critical thinking class)
  • Sorostitute: So, ever since I've been at college, I've realized how totally immature girls in high school are... like for realz.

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your 11 o'clock is on line 1

40 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

  • (Guy walks over to Sorostitute sitting down in armchair, they kiss)
  • Sorostitute: Bye, see you later!
  • (Guy walks away, her phone rings)
  • Sorostitute: Hey baby!

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which, by the way, is a great place to talk on the phone

145 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2008

  • Girl on Cell: I couldn't believe he did that... ew, I just heard someone peeing!
  • Voice From Stall: That's cause you're in a bathroom, dumbass.

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"...so i should start sleeping with them now, right?"

-31 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute: (about her political science classmates) They're all future something importants.

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which must mean he's a shitty boyfriend

154 [+ / -]     Apr 06, 2008

  • Guy on Cell: Yeah, I finally found out what happened to my boxers the other night when Katie and I got naked at her apartment. She called me the next day and said her cat had buried them in its litter box.

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was it good for you?

181 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2008

  • Guy: So, he slept with you and then just never called?
  • Girl: Yeah, I think its pretty shitty.
  • Guy: Hmmm, you should call him... and tell him you have herpes.

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"...not so loud, man... i'm still hung over"

445 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2008

  • Professor: So who pretty much got trashed this weekend?
  • (about half raise their hands)
  • Proressor: (yells) Awesome! You guys are first up to give your presentations.

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can you walk a straight line for me, son?

62 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2008

  • (Very early in the morning at the SLC)
  • Guy 1: That girl is pretty hot.
  • Guy 2: No, she isn't.
  • Guy 1: Oh, you're right. Sorry, I have my paper goggles on.

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i have one... can i leave?

43 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2008

  • (In a lecture on BDSM)
  • Speaker: Any questions?
  • (silence from class)
  • Speaker: All right then. Anal sex...

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and the oscar goes to... dumb and dumber!

-67 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2008

  • Girl: Who won big at the Oscars?
  • Guy: Well, the Coen brothers won for four different categories.
  • Girl: Really? Who knew that the guys who created There's Something About Mary could win an Oscar someday?

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my college counselor never mentioned that option

-47 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2008

  • Roommate 1: (looking at Facebook) Is that the hot girl you work with?
  • Roommate 2:Yeah dude, and she's getting her PhD in Biochemistry.
  • Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis.

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college is about learning the fundamentals

-38 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2008

  • Professor: Reading assignment due Wednesday, make sure you have it done.
  • Sorostitute: Is it important that we read for this class?
  • Professor: Are you serious? Yes, it is important that you read for this class.

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too late

827 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute on cell: Hey! My lucky red thong came through for me! He actually wanted to... hey, let me call you back... I think some people here are listening and I don't want this all over the Internet.

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"...i might be here a while"

51 [+ / -]     Jan 03, 2008

  • Girl on cell: I'm at the CLC... the Student Learning Center.

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