Quotes Filed Under "Sorostitute"


did you cover that in women's studies?

-1 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1:She needs to just admit that she's a slut.
  • Sorostitute 2: I know. I've woken up in strange guys beds with serious bruises and I've never cried rape.

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some people like to do it at denny's, apparently

-8 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: I have your dress, I washed it.
  • Sorostitute 2: Why did you wash it? Are there jizz stains on it?
  • Sorostitute 1: No! I just washed it so it would be clean.
  • Sorostitute 2: Whatever. If I find white crusties on my dress, I'll know it was you.
  • Sorostitute 1: If you find white crusties on your dress, I'm 99 percent positive it's ranch.

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uga transit's been meaning to relabel those things for years

42 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Crap! This bus is going the wrong way!
  • (She pulls the stop cord)
  • Sorostitute 2: This bus always goes this way!
  • Sorostitute 1: Why isn't the bus stopping? I pulled the cord!
  • Sorostitute 2: I don't think that's what it's for, but it does seem to piss the drivers off.

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a veritable jolly rancher

46 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: (to bartender) I want something cheap, but bursting with flavor.
  • Annoyed woman next to her: I bet your ass is cheap but bursting with flavor.

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but look how well it's holding up that broken table leg

-10 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sorostitute: This is a really good book, I think I'm going to keep it.
  • Fratty: Did you read any of it?
  • Sorostitute: No.

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no need for a caption here... bike cop did it for us

163 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Officer, that bouncer won't give me my fake ID back!
  • Bike Cop: Really? Well, can I have your real ID?
  • (She hands it over)
  • Bike Cop: Sit on the curb right here. HOPE scholarship? I gotta stop playing the lottery.

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#6   college is about learning to cope

67 [+ / -]     Apr 27, 2008

  • Fratty: I black out every time I drink, I've decided it's just part of drinking now.
  • Sorostitute: Um, that's not normal!
  • Fratty: I'm okay with it, lets take a shot.

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beer and wine are on aisle 3

46 [+ / -]     Apr 24, 2008

  • (At the Kroger deli)
  • Sorostitute 1: You know what would make this shopping trip more fun?
  • Sorostitute 2: Being drunk?
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, probably.

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why don't we go out and celebrate the accomplishment?

33 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, you do go out a lot.
  • Sorostitute 2: Hey, I haven't been out all week!
  • Sorostitute 1: Umm, it's Tuesday.

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introducing the new dumbass diet

-50 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Yeah, I want to get the Bacon Cheese Burger. But I don't want, like, the lettuce and tomato and mayo and stuff.
  • Waitress: So, just the meat and the cheese?
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, and bacon.

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isn't there a country song about this?

87 [+ / -]     Apr 18, 2008

  • (Waiting in line to get in the club)
  • Sorostitute 1: I love low rise jeans, like when I dance, all the guys see my thong. It's like a magnet.
  • Sorostitute 2: Um yeah, I've noticed. Pull your shirt over, you can see your bra strap.
  • Sorostitute 1: Oh my god! I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt. Like, showing your bra is the tackiest thing. Let's go, I need to change.

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next week on "to catch a predator..."

12 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Okay, so you don't think he is cute at all?
  • Sorostitute 2: No, not at all. He looks like a little boy.
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I like that!

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good thing you can just buy new ones

31 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: They swore me to secrecy, but since they're not my friends anymore I'm telling everyone.
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, fuck them.

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or perhaps your brain leaking out

-13 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

  • Sorostitute: (cleaning ear) Oh my god, I thought I was having, like, fucked up ear wax. But then I realized it was just spray tan.

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a real man would suck it up and complete the cycle

8 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: And then i told Gary that if even if we slept together he would still be my rebound guy. But he said he didnt even want to hook up with me anyways.
  • Sorostitute 2: Wait, why?
  • Sorostitute 1: He said it's because i've slept with three fourths of the house already and I just told him that was none of his business. And I mean, even if it was true...
  • Sorostitute 3: Which it is...
  • Sorostitute 1: Whatever. He shouldn't care. It's not a bad thing, is it?

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who ever said doing chores was no fun?

126 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

  • Girl: What are you doing Friday night?
  • Sorostitute: I'm having sex.
  • Girl: With who?
  • Sorostitute: I'm not sure. I'm down to three choices.
  • Girl: Oh, like a to-do list.

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