Quotes Filed Under "Welcome to the south"


if they touch, they might both disappear

40 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • Sorostitute: So she was just like, "Hey, I'm just gonna warn you. I know you're a Republican and that guy is gay... so be careful."

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except that the blood wine thing would get him crazy DUIs

12 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Bumper sticker on someone's jeep.

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it must be summertime in athens

-6 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

  • pbr, cheap red wine, vodka soaked watermelon

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it was love at first sight

26 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Portable guest bedrooms?

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9/10 biblical scholars agree. the 10th is from alabama.

43 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

  • Girlfriend: You need a haircut.
  • Boyfriend: Jesus didn't need haircuts.
  • Girlfriend: Jesus didn't have a mullet!

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ah, the fine southern art of airbrushing

6 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

  • On the back of a huge white van driven by an old man wearing overalls.

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a new approach for the drivers of serial killer vans

17 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

  • there's no telling who's locked up in the back of it

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marketing 101: it's always better to have a diversified sales portfolio

62 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sign seen on Cherokee Rd. a few months back leading to some mobile homes

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"...i'm a sucker for butterscotch"

-20 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Girl 1: I love the Pope!
  • Girl 2: Wait, I thought you hated Catholics?
  • Girl 1: I do, but I love cute little old men.

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h8n mstrb8n was too long

13 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • A license plate from a right winger

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9 out of 10 statisticians agree. the 10th one died.

37 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Tate Preacher: Death is the number one killer of all people. Ten out of ten people will die.

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any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

104 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • (At breakfast)
  • UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

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still waiting for the spaceship with her newest husband

-30 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I finally figured out how many times I have to get married to beat the family record.
  • Girl: So? How many?
  • Sorostitute: I have to beat 3.
  • Girl: Wow, really?
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, but they don't really count. She was in a cult.

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have you accepted mel gibson as your lord and savior?

-36 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

  • Girl: Have you ever seen The Passion of the Christ?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: You're not going to Heaven.

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not to brag or anything

4 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2008

  • Old Jewish Man: It only cost 5 million dollars!

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can we go to a church with a tv?

117 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2008

  • Catholic Guy: I'm missing UGA in the SEC championship basketball finals to come to church right now. You better be glad I like you.
  • Catholic Girl: Excuse me?!
  • Catholic Guy: What? I like Jesus, too. He's just more understanding.

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and the exchange rate sucks

72 [+ / -]     Mar 14, 2008

  • Asian Chick: (shivering) I forget how fucking cold it is in America!
  • Girl: Really? Where are you from?
  • Asian Chick: Texas.

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