Quotes Filed Under "Wtf?"


this is a john hurt moment waiting to happen

-20 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • Male pregnancy...it could happen to you!

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did you cover that in women's studies?

6 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1:She needs to just admit that she's a slut.
  • Sorostitute 2: I know. I've woken up in strange guys beds with serious bruises and I've never cried rape.

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that looks painful. so does the tattoo.

26 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

  • Saw this tat at some drunk at the pool and just had to zoom in on it.

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careful, we heard it has dihydrogen monoxide in it

-19 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Hey have you tried that new vitamin water?
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, but I don't really like the vitamins.

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you should be happy... why aren't you smiling?

53 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Girl 1: Ohmigod! Did I tell you what my parents are getting me for graduation? My first Botox injections!
  • Girl 2: Ohmigod! You are so lucky!

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the thirteenth step is always the hardest

30 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • (Guy is talking on his cell phone, wearing a Coors Light shirt and hip waders)
  • Guy on cell: How the hell did you get there?
  • (pause)
  • Guy on cell: You've got a drinkin' problem!
  • (pause)
  • Guy on cell: I told you how bad it was when I got my last DUI!
  • (pause)
  • Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm gettin' the beer. I'll be there in a few minutes.

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even worse that the diner scene in alien

26 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

  • I mean, who hasn't woken up with a blow up magic dragon named optimism on top of them?

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is this on the final?

-10 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • Psych Professor: A phobia is an irrational fear of something that disrupts your daily life.
  • Girl: I have a fear of Oompa Loompas! If they're in a store, I won't go anywhere near them!
  • Psych Professor: Oompa Loompas?
  • Guy: You know, green skin, orange hair.
  • Psych Professor: Well that doesn't affect your inability to preform your daily tasks. Maybe you just won't watch Willy Wonka.
  • Girl: It's the short arms.

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"...i'll also need some lysol and a copy of playboy"

38 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • (Cashier is ringing up a couple)
  • Girl: All I'm saying is that when you use the toilet at my place, don't leave stuff on the seat. I don't want a baby!
  • (Awkward pause while the cashier, guy, and girl exchange looks)
  • Cashier: Well, will this be all for today?

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they're growing up so fast

57 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

  • (Girl, about 9 or 10 years old, is holding small paper bag, leaving the Athens-Clarke County Public Library)
  • Girl: (to her father) They let me have my stuff in this little brown paper bag! I felt like I was leavin' the jailhouse.

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not to mention last call is over

13 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

  • Drunk Blonde: You have to be really careful out here, I just got a DUI. They're so harsh right here.
  • Drunk Brunette: Well, that's awful! I'm so glad we got to see you, though, do you want to follow us back out to the house and hang out?
  • Drunk Blonde: No, I can't, I have to get home. The babysitter's leaving soon.

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except that it's harder to fall asleep on porn

68 [+ / -]     May 01, 2008

  • Mike Adams: Teaching is like pornography... it's difficult to define, but you know it when you see it.

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[+ / -]     Dec 31, 1969

    @
    Overheard by:
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even a blind squirrel gets the occasional nut

14 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • a baby chipmunk we rescued from being devoured by a cat

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looks like uga went to boybutante this year

44 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • The UGA-version of the cadberry bunny

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